Sometimes
by Aggression
Summary: Every nation has their secrets. Prussia's about to discover Canada's, and maybe lose control of his heart along the way.
1. Alberta Bound

_Chapter 1_

_Alberta Bound_

He grunted as they hit a bump in the road; his head clashing with the glass window. A "sorry" was mumbled even though it wasn't the other man's fault that there was a pothole in the road. The personification of the dead country of Prussia glared in reply, his patience already long past it's end with this "vacation."

He knew that was their way of sugar-coating it, the other countries just simply didn't want him around. They'd had grown tired and wiry of his childish antics, quickly thinking of a way to shove him to the side; to leave him out of World meetings and such. He wasn't a country, so why did he even need to be there? They decided to send him on an extended vacation. He'd spend time with each country, to learned and be enlightened about their cultures and people and the world in general. Really they just wanted a way where someone else would have to play babysitter; someone coming up with the diplomatic idea of taking turns.

His ass had been dragged across the world for the last six months now, and it wasn't going to be heading back home anytime soon. Time had been spent in desserts and on rainy islands; the sun had viciously beat down on him and then had hidden its face. Down under he'd almost been attacked by a crocodile. Then he was forced to listen to the endless flow of music from the piano-pansy, right after heading over to where he was repeatedly beat over the head with a frying pan. He'd had only last about a month in each destination, soon being shipped out to end the constant migraines of his hosts.

Unbelievably enough the latest leg of his journey had been the worst. He'd thought that time would be spent playing video games and getting drunk, but he was just simply ignored. America just left him in his house, completely forgetting about his guest. He spent his time being alone only with misery as company. Some thanks for the training he gave the boy during the Revolutionary War.

One thing Gilbert hated was being left alone. It gave his mind a chance to bring up past failures and loses, reminding him of how far he'd fallen. But the worst was the memories of victory and accomplishment; of happiness and joy. They left him feeling hollow and useless as he spent time wishing for yesterday.

He groaned as once again his head collided with the window, knocking him out of depressing thoughts. He shifted in his seat, giving up on the prospect of sleep as they drove through the country side, heading north.

The personification of Canada sat beside him, one arm lazily resting on his open window, the other easily controlling the steering wheel. A red iPod was plugged in, a line about "rocky mountains and black fertile ground" drifting through the speakers. The blond was quietly singing along; eyes intend on the road in front of him.

Prussia turned toward the man, "Where are we?"

"Making our way through Montana. We should hit the border soon. Get your passport out," came the curt yet polite reply. It slightly surprised Prussia, he always thought of Canada as a spineless little whelp that didn't deserve his amount of land, not someone who could order around a peeved him without yelling or flinching.

"Montana is on the western part of this continent isn't it?"

"_Oui._"

"And isn't your capital on the eastern half?"

"_Oui._"

"Then what the hell are we doing out here?"

The blond sighed, he eyes not once leaving the road. "We're staying at my house in Alberta. I didn't think you'd want to deal with my Provinces and Alberta's going to be out of country for a while, then she's planning on visiting her sister. Also I'm supposed to show you the Canadian culture, and with hockey season and winter coming up this is probably one of the best places to start."

The Prussian merely turned to the window in response. "Is it as un-awesomely flat as this place?"

A smirk formed on the Canadian's face. "Yes. It's not known as a Prairie Province for nothing." He laughed at the albino's resounding groan. "Don't worry. It's not complete Prairie like Saskatchewan. It also has large forests and the Rocky Mountains."

"Great, I have twigs and pebbles to play with." Canada simply continued to look at the road.

Minutes passed until Matthew spoke up. "We're at the border. Can you get your passport out please?"

They quickly made their way across, not many people were at the border this early on a Saturday more. Prussia cursed the man for getting him up at this un-awesome hour. To be this amazing you needed sleep! He didn't want to end up some psychotic zombie like that Russian bastard. He already looked dead enough thank you very much! Pale skin like his was only really usefully around Halloween.

The continued down the highway. They stopped for gas and the Prussian couldn't help notice the change in the wind. "God damn it is it always this frickin' windy? It's horrible who the hell would want to live here?"

The Canadian out right laughed this time. "Well if that's your opinion I'll apologize to you right now 'cause the weather's only gonna get worse once winter starts to set in."

"…You're psychotic to live here you know that right?"

The Canadian blushed this time, mumbling what sounded like a "fuck off, eh".

They left the gas station. Canada had bought a large slurpee and a regular sized bag of chips. Prussia had merely grabbed a pop, not caring about what he got as he thrust his hand in the refrigerator and grabbed a random bottle.

Matthew set the bag of chips on the console/seat between them and started looking through his iPod. "You can have some if you want." As Prussia opened the bag Canada switched over to a playlist that he thought would be more attuned to Prussia's tastes. The man had spent the whole time after waking up glaring at the red device blaring country music.

Drums bursted through the air, soon joined by guitar and the screams of one of the band members. Gilbert was happier with the new music selection, though he made sure not to show it. He was surprised when another set of vocals joined the other, this time the complete opposite. This voice was practiced and precise, at times reaching into higher notes. _"The streets are in distress. The sun suffocates beyond darkened skys…"_

"What's the name of this band?"

"Alexisonfire. It's all one word. They're from Ontario." Prussia nodded, storing away the band name for later.

The Prairies continued to stretch on before them, a sea of rolling gold. The wind made the fields of wheat and barley sway backing and forth in a continuous movement. "Where are we staying here?"

"Outside of Edmonton, the capital of Alberta. A warning, don't question the slogan when you see it on the city sign, you'll either get your ass kicked or a long rant on why that title belongs to Edmonton. Of course if you do get an Edmontonian pissed at ya just insult Calgary and that'll get you on your way back to their good side. Vice versa for a Calgarian."

Prussia stared, not quite sure what to say to that. "Okay then. How long 'til we get there?"

"Over three hours."

Prussia groaned, slumping in his seat.

* * *

They drove up onto the driveway, the red Ford truck coming to a stop. Prussia crumbled up the bag of chips, its contents already long gone. The Canadian hopped out of the trunk, helping his guest grab his bags and leading him to the door. Keys already in hand he quickly opened it and welcomed the Prussian inside.

After leading Gilbert to his room, Matthew gave him a tour of his house. It wasn't small, but at the same time not big. You couldn't say the same about the garage. It was huge, housing two quads, some dirt bikes, and ski-doos. There was also room for the truck. It was a good thing they were out on an acreage, you definitely wouldn't have had room for all of this stuff in the city.

"You can use anything in here. They should be all in good condition if my daughter's been maintaining them properly. I keep most of the beer in the old fridge in the corner." Prussia smirked at this comment. _Finally, someone who'll tell me where the beer is instead of making me spend the freaking time searching the whole house for it._

It was noon now and they had sandwiches for lunch. Gilbird has re-asserted his spot on Prussia's head after being cooped up in a cage for the ride. The little bird tweeted whilst stealing bits from Gilbert's sandwich.

Silence stretched on between them. The Canadian didn't know what to say; the Prussian just didn't give a damn. Not even Gilbird made a sound. Instead the animal's beady eyes stared at Canada, as if sizing him up. It was making Matthew slightly uncomfortable.

A moment later a distraction came in the form of the pitter-patter of paw steps as a white beast entered the kitchen. The cub of a polar bear padded softly around the island, tugging at its master's pant leg. "Hungary," spoke Kumajirou, surprising Gilbert with the fact that it could actually _speak._

Matthew took no notice of the wide-eyed albino as he chuckled, moving towards the fridge. He pulled out a filet of salmon, tossing it into the air at the bear. It caught the food in its maw while standing on its hind legs, the motion completely balanced.

"It spoke." Bewildered, Gilbert's eyes flickered back and forth between the bear and man.

"He tends to do that. You'll get used to it…maybe." The Canadian turned to his companion. "Kumajirou, this is the former Kingdom of Prussia, he'll be staying with us for a while."

Kumajirou practically inhaled the food, rapidly turning his attention to Prussia. The bear studied the man, sniffing him to remember his scent. He padded towards him and stood on two legs, resting his forepaws on Prussia's legs. It stared at his silver-white hair, and then looked down at its own fur.

"You my other human twin?"

"Uhhhh…yeah?"

He didn't know how to answer that, but the bear seemed to accept it. It seemed pleased as it walked out of the room, going off to do who knows what.

The Canadian soon followed his bear, apologizing about having some work he still had to attend to. Prussia shrugged it off, heading to the living and plopping down on the couch. He turned on the TV, highlights from some football game popping onto the screen. One shot even had a man with an actual hollowed out watermelon on his head. Gilbert didn't even want to know what that was about.

He flicked to some random channel. The whole afternoon he watched a marathon on some show, ridiculous lines like "The four kinds of cheeses, cheddar, mozza, swiss, and whiz." sticking in his head. The show honestly made him laugh, it was way better than some of the shows he'd watched down in the USA.

…It also left him with a craving for chili-cheese dogs.

Dinner was better. The restful afternoon had left Gilbert in a better mood and they made small talk. Gilbird was fearful of Kumajirou though, preferring to stay on his master's head to keep away from the white blot of fur. The bear took no notice; it simply ate its food then fell asleep right then and there.

Canada hadn't finished his work yet, so after he cleaned up supper Gilbert was left alone again. This time he didn't mind it though, he wasn't being blatantly ignored like Alfred had done to him. He went through his luggage, looking though for items that needed to go through the wash. He hadn't bothered to do it at America's place. The laundry room there had been a death trap with all of the junk in it.

Though the day had been better than the last couple of months, when he went to bed the albino was still displease with his predicament, a gloomy demeanor settling around him.

* * *

_I'm Alberta Bound  
This piece of heaven that I've found  
Rocky Mountains and black fertile ground  
Everything I need beneath that big blue sky  
Doesn't matter where I go  
This place will always be my home  
Yeah I've been Alberta Bound for all my life  
And I'll be Alberta Bound until I die_

_Alberta Bound by Paul Brandt_

**Author's note- I'm back with a new story~ First off, sorry if Mattie is OOC, this is just my mind automatically putting in what I view as the typical Canadian personality. Helpful but witty~ Honestly Canada's too…I don't even know how to describe it in the anime. They really just need an episode where he kicks some ass playing hockey. **

**This time I'm trying to do something more serious and angsty then my other stuff, so please review and tell me what you think! It'd really help me. Also, if there's a certain situation you want to see them in tell me and I might put it in this story. Even then if it doesn't make it in this story it might make it in my one-shot collection or even the sequel I'd like to do for this story (which would be an extremely humorous story). Also, each chapter is going to end with song lyrics that will be related to that chapter. And if you know what show I was referencing you're either Canadian or an extremely epic person.**

**So please review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Mumbles

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**Author's note- I've changed the title to Sometimes, after the cd that inspired this fic, Sometimes by City and Colour. He's a great song writer and you all should really give him a listen.**

Chapter 2

Mumbles

He awoke, his nose immediately assaulted by the smell of breakfast being made. Gilbird was flittering about; tweeting even after he had woken up his master. Prussia got up out of his bed grumbling, his gloomy mood carrying over to the morning. He quickly got dressed and made his way downstairs. And he totally did not almost trip on the stairs.

Canada was in front of the stove, quietly humming to himself as he cooked. His bear was curled up at his feet and Prussia was amazed the boy hadn't tripped over it yet. The beast looked up at him as he entered the room. Its eyes stared him before they turned to look at Gilbird. The little bird ignored the bear, still creeped out by it.

"What's for breakfast?"

"Morning to you too. Pancakes and bacon. There's juice and milk in the fridge. Cups are over there." The Canadian didn't turn around as he spoke; keeping his eyes on the food in front of him, only taking the time to point out which cupboard the cups were in.

The Prussian poured himself a drink and sat down. They were soon eating their breakfast, Matthew's completely covered in maple syrup.

"Did you seriously just put syrup on your bacon?" Gilbert stared at the dish in disgust. He could understand the pancakes; he loved them ever since the blonde had given him some syrup in April, but on bacon? Now that was just ruining good meat.

"Yes it's delicious." Matthew's face was completely straight as he took a bite of bacon. Gilbert just shook his head, not understanding the kid.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it."

"And ruin my awesome taste buds? I'm good." The blonde shrugged and returned to eating, passing Kumajirou a piece of bacon. Gilbird was pecking at some bird seed Prussia had brought with him.

"What are we doing today? Every place I've gone to already had stuff planned out for me." The last sentence came out through gritted teeth, obvious annoyance showing through. "Well, except for you brother of course," he added on as an afterthought.

"I'd thought I'd take you into town to see the Leg today. You know, get all the government stuff out of the way as soon as possible. The Premier will meet with you instead of the Prime Minister if that's okay." Matthew gathered up his and his guest's plates before cleaning them off and throwing them in the dish washer.

"Whatever."

* * *

It was about a 45 minute drive into the city and they were almost there. Gilbert had been staring out of the window the whole time and ignoring the Canadian. They reached the outskirts and passed the city sign.

"'The City of Champions', really?" The albino snorted. "I thought it was your brother's job to be conceited."

"Shut up eh!" A faint blush crept its way onto Matthew's skin. "They earned the nickname back in the eighties when they were cleaning the board in hockey and football. Nowadays people also say it reflects the volunteer ethic of the city too."

"Whatever. This place still isn't as awesome as my cities used to be."

"Now who's being conceited?" Matthew smirked.

"Shut the hell up kid. I have more of a right to be than you. I've been around longer."

The blonde mumbled something that sounded like, "That's what you think," but Gilbert wasn't sure. It wouldn't have made sense for the kid to say something like that anyways. Prussia was by far his senior.

"Did ya say something?"

"Nothing." The blonde's eyes stayed on the road, "I apologize if I offended you in some way."

Prussia grunted in response.

The pair soon found themselves on the Legislative grounds. Matthew parked in a reserved spot on the side of the building and took Gilbert to the main entrance.

The building had an old look to it; columns lined the main doorway which faced out into a large outdoors area. The top of the building had a domed structure with a small spire jutting out into the sky. A large, shallow pool was in front of the building, behind it a second pool with a fountain at its center. The grounds then lead to another government building. The area behind the Legislature was an expanse of green, leading to the river valley below.

Canada led Prussia inside. "I'll give you a tour first, then we'll meet with the Albertan Premier."

Prussia nodded. Matthew first showed him a routine tour for tourists, then began to lead him to more strictly business parts of the building. "This is just a storage room, it mostly keeps old effects and pictures."

Gilbert looked around, even though this was just a storage room, there was so much character to it. You could tell what was older or newer by how thick the layer of dust covering it was. In the back there was a giant picture mounted on the wall.

It was old, grainy, and in black and white. It was full of men in ties and business suits, the only exception being a young girl standing in front of them all. Her posture was of someone who was meek and quiet, yet her eyes looked up with a challenge. He dress was long and wide, signs of dirt already smeared on it. "Who's that?" Prussia thought that the girl looked familiar, though he couldn't quite place from where.

"One of my Provinces, Alberta. That's from the day her and her twin, Saskatchewan, were made the 8th and 9th provinces. You've met her once before, at one of the World Conferences before their official creation. I brought both of them with me." Canada's voice grew quiet, his eyes slightly loosing focus as he remembered the past. "They hadn't received their titles as provinces yet, but they truly represented that land. Alberta collapsed at that meeting."

Prussia remembered now. They two then soon-to-be-provinces had looked around five, and Alberta had been the bolder of the two, speaking up and introducing herself before her father even got the chance. She made sure everyone knew she wasn't a push over. That is, until she collapsed. Everyone had a little scare then, if it wasn't for the fact that you were someone who actually cared about Canada, it was because you saw Matthew in his "protective father mode".

He turned away from the picture, towards the blonde. "What does she look like now?"

The reply received was not vocal, Canada simply picked up a photo album, opening it to one of its many pages. "Here, this is a recent picture of her and Saskatchewan."

Prussia took the album from the man, turning it around so that he could look at it properly. There were two girls in the picture, one obviously taller than the other. The taller one, whom Gilbert assumed to be Alberta (due to the resemblance from the previous photo) had her arm wrapped around the other's shoulders. Her long black hair reached down to her lower-back, long bangs partly obscuring her right eye. She wore a long sleeved, plaid, button-up top with dark skinny jeans with the cuffs hidden underneath tan cowboy boots. On top of her head balanced a tan cowboy hat that was partially falling off. A rosy flush was underneath of her violet eyes, the obvious cause given away by the beer bottle gripped within her hand.

The shorter sister looked totally different from the other. Dirty blonde hair was wrapped into two braids that came down on each side of her head. Ruffled bangs that reached her eyebrows peaked out from underneath a straw hat. She wore blue jean overalls with a light yellow shirt layered below it. She wore tan cowboy boots like her sister. She, like the other, had her father's violet eyes. Her face was in a scowl, opposing her sister's cocky grin. A beer can was in her hand, evidence of heavy drinking also on her face.

"...These two are supposed to be fucking twins?" Prussia rolled his eyes.

"They're fraternal twins, eh." Matthew returned the album back to its place on the bookshelf. "Now, shall we go meet the Premier?"

The meeting had been of normal fashion. Men in suits not caring, but slightly fascinated by him. Of course, if he were a real "country" their attitude towards him would've been different. Though, it was the warmest reception Gilbert had received in a long time. The best was when he'd met some First Nation Chiefs.

He was amazed that the Chiefs were actually granted knowledge of the Nation-peoples existence. When he asked Canada about it, the blonde explained that it was a condition of the all of the Numbered Treaties; even tribes not part of those Treaties received this right, that the Band Chiefs and Elders were allowed to know of the existence of the Nation-humans. Before the Europeans came it was knowledge always granted to Chiefs and Elders when they advanced into those positions and was to this day a continued tradition.

The reception he received from them still surprised him. They had asked him questions about his past, seeming truly interested in what he had to say. And they didn't ask about Germany or even East Germany, only of his time spent as Prussia. Gilbert honestly found their actions a little strange and asked Canada about them.

Matthew turned to him, looking Gilbert right in the eye. "They acted like that because they respect you. To them, you'd be the equivalent of an elder, a person wise in their old age, even if that age forced them to retire from their position in life. That's why they asked you about Prussia, because that's where most of your personal experiences have come from. To them you're an invaluable source of knowledge and wisdom, not merely a has-been Nation."

Prussia was speechless. He didn't even receive respect like that back in Germany. He sure as hell never expected to come from a place like Canada.

The Canadian smiled sheepishly at the Prussian's response, or lack thereof. "Well, let's get going eh. You want something from Timmie's? I'm going to make a stop along the way."

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_Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your full undivided attention?  
There is something you all really need to know._

_There is a Hell, believe me I've seen it.  
There is a Heaven, let's keep it a secret._

Crucify Me by Bring Me The Horizon

**Well, this is alittle shorter than the last chapter. Expect the lenghts to go up and down, I stop them where I feel nessisary. **

**Reviews are love!**


	3. Drums

_Chapter 3_

_Drums_

Like a banshee. That's the only thing the screeching emanating from the blonde beside him could be compared to. Gilbert was pretty sure permanent hearing damage had been done to his ears, and unfortunately, they were only in the _first _period.

He couldn't believe he was thinking this, but maybe it _wasn't_a good idea to go to the bar.

They were still in Edmon-what's it after a day of meandering through museums and art galleries (in other words, boring ass shit that'll make you want to pop a cap in your head) and Canada had offered heading to a bar after their last stop. Gilbert, being the awesome lover of beer he was, thought it'd be a great idea after the day they had. He should've realized what he was in for once the Canadian reached into the backseat of his truck and pulled out a jersey.

Now, everything had been pretty normal when they first entered, but soon the bar was packed with people, and they found themselves encased in a sea of copper and blue. Gilbert had then turned to the Canadian, "...Is there a game tonight?"

Matthew turned to face his guest, handing him a Canadian (the beer, not a person), as he did so.

"It's the season opener, eh. It's against those fuckin' Flames too."

Gilbert knew he was screwed once that little comment set off a chorus of "Flames suck!"

He now gulped his beer, thankful that the bar had died down a bit for now. He watched as blue and whites blobs moved across the ice, finding that maybe he slightly enjoyed watching this sport. He was a man of violence after all, how could he not enjoy people mercilessly pounding each other into the boards?

Canada was to his left, locked into a conversation with the couple beside him. "Hall was definitely the right choice, and we should have a good team in a couple of seasons once him, Paajarvi and Eb-" Gilbert flinched as the bar erupted into hollers and screams as one of the blue blobs made his way down the ice. His host beside him was no different, waving excitedly at the screen as the player went for the net.

The forward had an opportunity to pass to one of his teammates, but instead went for the shot, sliding to the boards as the puck did the same into the net. The volume level amazingly got louder as the buzzer went off on the tv.

"Fuck yeah Eberle!" The crowd's energy continued to grow as the replay ran, the commentator animatedly talking about the rookie's first NHL goal.

Prussia soon found himself infected by the atmosphere, quickly picking up on some of the rules of the game, cheering along with everyone else.

And damn was he glad the blue team won, no way in hell did he want to see that crowd angry.

* * *

His head hurt like a bitch, and the light steaming through the window wasn't helping. Gilbert awoke to find himself on the couch, still in the clothes he wore the day before. He'd been so far gone he didn't even make it to the guest room once they got back to Canada's house. Said Nation wasn't in sight, and there were no sounds coming from the kitchen, so Prussia guessed that the kid was still upstairs.

Gilbird peeped from his perch on one of the chairs, ruffling its feathers slightly. Gilbert groaned, the hangover on at full force. He'd no idea what time they'd gotten back at last night. And no way in hell did he want to think about _how_ they got home_, _'cause that big ol' truck was parked in the driveway (he could see it through a window).

A creaking of the stairs and a slight groan signaled the entrance of the other heavy drinker. Gilbert had honestly been surprised; he'd had imagined the kid to be a light weight. Canada had proven him wrong as they'd both kept going strong on the beer last night...and since he somehow managed to get them home. He got up, cracking his back as he did so. "How'd we get home last night, we were both too shit-faced to drive."

Canada looked him dead in the eye. "Ancient native secret."

Gilbert stared at him for a moment before shaking his head as the other's lips broke out into a grin. "I don't even want to know," he mostly mumbled to himself.

Gilbird peeped, pecking at Prussia to show his hunger. The albino petted his companion, "Let's get you fed then, _ja_?" He walked to the kitchen, Canada following as he went to retrieve food for his own little friend. Kumajirou hobbled along, sniffing the ground as he made his path towards the refrigerator.

After both pets were fed Canada began rummaging around in his cabinets. "Advil?"

"_Ja._"

Canada quickly found and opened the bottle of medication, taking out a pill before tossing it at his guest. Said guest was a little slow this morning, so the container accurately clonked him on the forehead. Canada blushed, mumbling a "Sorry" as he set down a glass of water for the albino. Prussia grumbled as he swallowed the pill.

"Any plans for today?"

The Canadian blinked, looking a little sluggish himself. "No, I thought we could just laze around. Would you like to do something? I can easily find us something to do."

Gilbert shook his head, which reminded him of his main reason for wanting to stay at the house; a pounding headache is not a fun experience. "Staying here's fine."

Canada nodded before turning to his bear. "Kumakichi stay out of the Advil!"

* * *

After chasing the polar bear around the house (damn that thing was fast when it wanted to be), Gilbert and Matthew both flopped onto the couch in the living room, glad the fiasco was over and that they'd retrieved the helpful little bottle of pills.

"What the fuck do you feed that thing?"

"Uhhhh...whatever a polar bear eats...and maybe ice cream...and pancakes...and poutine."

"And the fat ass can run that fast?" Gilbert asked in disbelief. "And what the hell is poutine?"

Canada had on a face of annoyance, as if he was tired of answering that question. "Only the next best food on this Earth next to pancakes. It's fries smothered in gravy and cheese curds. Your arteries will never be the same after you have one." Prussia swore the kid was drooling a little bit.

"Sounds like heart attack on a plate. Once again you're sounding like your brother. I thought it was his job to be a fat ass."  
Prussia learned a valuable lesson that day; don't act like Canadians are the same as Americans. It lands you in a world of pain…or a pillow in your face.

After tossing to pillow at the blonde, who caught in the air, Prussia turned away from the kid. "Let's just watch some damn tv."

* * *

It wasn't long before Prussia had slipped off into a nap (later he'd deny that he wasn't getting old and say it was a nap of awesomeness), leaving Canada the only person in the house left in the waking world. Even the pets had fallen asleep. Kuma-whatever was tired from his earlier game of keep away and was resting on a chair. Gilbird had nestled itself in Prussia's mop of hair, quickly dozing off.

Canada sighed, but only out of habit. He was already used to being left to his own devices like this. Atleast he was in his own home, not like the times when he's in another country for business.

Yawning, he got up and walked towards the stairs. He had some free time, something he hadn't had in awhile.

Stairs creaked as he made his ascent, showing an age to this house that's hidden at first glance. Canada, whether it was known to others or not, did have some skills as a handyman and took pride in keeping his house in good condition. Though, there were always some things that'd just always the same. Not like it mattered to him, he perfered his home to have character instead of being completely pristine.

He reached the hallway at the top, making his way towards his bedroom. He stopped though, pausing by a closed door, the only room Gilbert hadn't seen on his tour of the house. Quiet drums filled the air, to Canada it created a welcoming atmosphere. He turned to enter the room, but stopped with the shrill ringing of the phone sliced through the music. This time he sighed in annoyance, turning to the door one last time before leaving to answer the phone. A quiet "Sorry" slipped through his lips as he left the hallway, the beating to the drums taking on a sadder tone.

* * *

_Skatin' quick and passin' pretty, fastest ice around the league_

_The goalie stacks 'em up and makes a save you can't believe_

_Elbows in the corners and she's gettin' kinda rough_

_But I know we got some boys that ain't afraid to drop the gloves_

_You better cheer 'em on, they're the roughtest necks around _

'_Cause it's hockey night in Edmonton, the Oil's back in town, yeah!_

_The Oil's Back in Town by Corb Lund_

**Author's note- Yay! Another chapter finished! 8DDDD All the hockey pride in this made my friend happy. Escpecially the "Fucking Flames" line. xDDDD Sorry guys~ But the rivalry forever goes strong 8D And is there foreshadowing in this? I think so. xDDD**

**I had so much trouble picking the lyrics. Up until tonight I was going to use some from the Hockey Song, the I was like "Oh crap I forgot about the Oiler's song!" So me and my friend went over it. Also, if the formatting different or weird yet again it's because my computer and fanfic hates me. T_T**

**Read and review~**


	4. Glances

_Chapter 4_

_Glances_

It was one of _those _days.

One of those days were you wanted to frickin' kill the sun, stop every single noise except for the music you blasted to chase your thoughts away; to spend it either gorging yourself on everything in your kitchen or wallowing in self-pity and leaving your stomach empty. For Gilbert, you could say these days came like a bi-monthly period.

And Canada would soon find out that the other countries were lucky it somehow skipped during his time spent with them.

Somehow, Gilbert managed to drag himself downstairs, each step a resounding thump like a warning to those below, saying "Just shut the fuck up I'm grumpy." Of course, he was far more, or you could say less, than that. On these days he felt empty, the loss of his country spurring him during every waking and dreaming minute. Sure, he may be a representative of Germany now, but that didn't make it his country, his _home. _No, that was lost long ago.

The floor creaked as he descended from the last step; the last warning.

Canada was in the kitchen, once again humming as he made breakfast. He made pancakes for himself every morning, but everyday asked Prussia what he'd like to eat. All he received was a grumbled response, so he quietly returned to his cooking. Something had Prussia in a bad mood, and Matthew had the feeling it was best to leave him alone.

Gilbert picked at his breakfast, his mood seeming to affect Gilbird too, as the tiny animal didn't utter a peep the whole time. The albino quickly gave up on his food and stood to make his way to the sink. He didn't get far and stubbed his toe on the island, sending his plate crashing to the floor.

"Cock sucking mother fucker!" The swears switched over to rapid German as the Prussian stood there glaring murder at the mess before him. Canada was quick to his feet and walked over to the mess.

"It's alright Prussia it's just a pl-"

"_Nein kind. _It's not alright, nothings alright. Everything's shit. Everyone should just go crawl in a hole and die and leave me alone!" The words came out in an exasperated shriek; Canada flinched. Gilbert made his way to the living room, forgetting about the broken plate on the floor. As he passed it, he put Canada's iPod, which was hooked up to some speakers, on shuffle.

The first song came through for Gilbert as the sound of an electric guitar screeched through his ears, soon joined by growling vocals. He flopped onto the couch, sticking his feet up on the coffee table. He turned on the TV, managing to find a football (no, not that stupid farce of a game the Americans created) game, acting as if Canada was non-existent.

Said Nation sighed, knowing that he was going to be greatly ignored for a while.

Canada began to clean up the plate, carefully throwing the shards of glass in the garbage. After that mess was taken care of, he began to do the dishes and just generally cleaning in the kitchen.

The song switched, and Canada's movements seemed to slow as his face became downcast. It took Prussia a few moments to realize that the harsh metal songs that had played consecutively had ended, replaced by what he thought was an accordion and some guitar. He was about to get up and change the song when he heard it.

The house had a very open floor plan, so he could see Canada in the kitchen from his position on the couch. He was standing in front of the sink, but his movements had slowed considerately. But that's not what had caught Gilbert's attention.

Canada's voice was strong and clean. Gilbert could easily hear it even though he was singing quietly. The melancholy in Canada's voice seemed to match Gilbert's mood. For a couple seconds he actually _listened_to the lyrics, soon understanding why the blonde had suddenly become so sullen. Soldiers. The song was about his soldiers.

Gilbert had never heard about the Highway of Heroes. As Canada sang the song, he couldn't help but become interested if it evoked this kind of reaction from the Nation. The song came to an instrumental and Gilbert noticed the silent tears running down the other's cheeks. Light shone through a window above the sink, bouncing off the tears and making them glitter. _He looks so beautiful. _The Prussians eyes went wide as he realized what ran through his head. Why would he think something so unawesome and pansy-like like that?

He never realized that a faint blush had crept onto his face.

As confusion ran through his head, the Canadian began to sing once again as the vocals returned, and Gilbert was sucked back in. Canada's voice was louder this time, his eyes closed as the words flowed effortlessly from his mouth. Prussia could only guess what he was thinking about.

"_True patriot love that was never amore, that was never amore, that was never amore..."_

Canada broke out of his trance like state with the ending of the song, blushing when he realized there were tears on his face. He turned around to face his guest, flustered about what had just happened. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize-"

"What's the Highway of Heroes?"

Canada seemed to still again, thinking about what to say.

"It's a stretch of highway in Ontario, outside of Toronto. When a solider dies in battle, after a ceremony at the airport their body's convoy drives along that stretch. Some of my citizens will stand on the overpasses of that highway, honouring the brave men and women that gave their lives for us." Canada's eyes became distant again as Prussia took in the information. He stored it away, another tidbit he'd collected about the Canadian. Was it becoming a game for him, finding things out about this person whom always seemed to be insignificant in the background?

"Do your people regularly do things like this?"

"Yes, actually..." Matthew turned away from his guest, heading over to the calendar hanging on his fridge. He scanned the current month, eyes passing over many little scribbles as he came to find the current date. A small smile crept onto his face as he turned back towards Prussia. "Do you feel like going out tonight?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to show you something, it's relevant to your question."

Prussia didn't really think, he just nodded. "Sure, whatever."

It was a couple hours later that he realized his bad mood was gone.

* * *

It was around eleven at night when they stepped out of Canada's truck. They were back in the city, and Prussia had no idea to why they were there. He scanned the streets, immediately noticing how the road in front of them was lined with fire trucks and police vehicles.

"What the hell?" All of the police and fire men were off to the side, lining the streets. There was also some other people out. Prussia watched them mill about, noticing a fireman setting up a Canadian flag on top of one of the fire trucks. He then noticed that _all_of the fire trucks were flying the national emblem.

"You'd asked if Canadians regularly did things to honour our soldiers, this is my answer for you."

"And how is this an answer?"

"Because this is one of those moments."

Prussia looked away from the Maple Leaf and down the street again. A chilly breeze blew, and he once again began to question the sanity of Canadians.

"So we're just going to stand out here in the wind?"

"Yep."

Prussia threw a sidelong glance at the other before slinking down into his sweater.

"So how is this one of those moments?" A smile grew onto Canada's lips.

"Because, some of the boys and gals are coming home tonight." Canada's smile was full and beaming, showing pride for his soldiers and relief that tonight some of them got to come home, to see loved ones again after months away. In a way Prussia was glad to be here, his respect for Canadian soldiers were still intact from the Great Wars. Moments and periods like the Hundred Days Offence of the Allies were forever burned into his brain.

A light murmur passed through and everything calmed down. Service men and a few passersby stood ready at the sides of the roads. Prussia looked down it, spotting the beams of lights as buses came into view.

Soon a group of buses passed by. Prussia watched as traffic from connecting roads stopped, no one making a fuss about the interruption. The police- and firemen were saluting, as was Canada. There were whoops and hollers from other, Prussia even picked out a "Welcome home!"

After the procession passed movement picked up again as people set out on their way. The policemen left as the firemen took down the flags waving from their trucks, soon leaving themselves. Prussia and Canada stood there through it all, leaving them the only two just standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

Even though there was an everyday air to it, everyone there seemed to emit pride and thankfulness to their soldiers. Prussia didn't know anywhere else he could really see something like this. There was a true honesty to it, something that was hard to find.

They entered the truck in a comfortable silence; Gilbert felt no need to whip out the Awkward Silence Turtle. He kept shooting Canada sideways glances, the whole time not realizing he was doing the same.

* * *

_Carry me home down The Highway of Heroes.  
People above with their flags flying low.  
Carry me softly, down The Highway of Heroes._

_True Patriot Love,_  
_There was never more._

_I took up my vocation,_  
_I was called by my nation._  
_Without hesitation,_  
_My answer I gave._

_Highway of Heroes by The Trews_

**Translations- **_**Nein kind**_** (German- No kid)**

**Author's note- Wooooo~ another chapter done! I had trouble with the part in the city, I hope I've portrayed it in a good way. I've never really seen it myself; I've just seen them start to set up to welcome the troops home. **

**Read and review!**


	5. Lessons Learned, Pains Remembered

_Chapter 5_

_Lessons Learned, Pains Remembered_

Gilbert tied up his laces, double knotting them as he flexed his toes. He and the kid were about the same shoe size, so Canada had an old pair of skates that fitted Gilbert pretty well. He'd been with the blonde for about two weeks now; this was already his favourite leg of his "vacation" so far.

It may or may not have been due to the fact that maybe Gilbert had grown a little interested in the Nation. Hell, he had the cute factor going on and made some kick ass pancakes. _Canada should be honoured to be worth even a tiny bit of my time. _Prussia was already devising operation "Get Into Some Canadian Pants". In other words, he was just going to let his awesome do the job of wooing the Canadian.

Gilbert stood, and totally not in a shaky way (to which the Canadian disagreed, comparing him to a newborn foal). They made their way out of the locker room, Canada walking with ease as Gilbert wobbled. Matthew had contacted the local skating rink and had rented it for the morning. Gilbert's interest in hockey had grown, so the Canadian decided to give him some lessons on the game.

Canada was quickly out on the ice and warming up. Gilbert, on the other hand, had a little trouble. The albino hadn't been skating in years, and as his blade met the ice so did his ass. He yelped in surprise at the jarring landing, sitting there wide-eyed. Canada came over, trying to contain his laughter. "You've skated before right?"

"_Ja_, of course I have... It's just been awhile." Gilbert managed to get up on his own, grabbing the boards as he threatened to slip again. His second try wasn't much better, though not as bad as the last, because this time a certain Canadian caught him.

Gilbert grinned, leaning slightly on Canada, worming his arms tighter around him. "Have I told you you're cute yet?"

Canada blushed and laughed nervously under his breath, turning his head away towards the ice. "Just stop thinking about it, eh."

Prussia blinked. "What?" Had he just been unawesomely shot down? _You knew he wouldn't go for someone like you anyway. Who'd want a washed up, useless ex-Nation who-_

"About skating. Don't think about it. Just feel it." Canada stared at their skates as Prussia shook his head, banishing for the time being the little voice that had seemed to join him since his "death." He then grinned, nodding once, before detangling himself from the Canadian.

Matthew watched as Prussia took his advice and another attempt. He was shaking again at the start, but soon the albino's strides became stronger as his legs remembered the motions of gliding across the ice. After a couple minutes of just moving around the rink, Matthew called Prussia over to him. "Looks like you got the hang of it, let's get started eh."

The blonde quickly skated back to the bench, retrieving two sticks and some pucks. He returned to the other and dropped the pucks to the ice. "What hand to you write with?"

"Right."

Matthew nodded and handed Prussia a stick. "Try this one. You hold them like this." All of Matthew's sticks already had some curve to them, so it made it easier that Prussia was also right-handed. After making sure the albino knew how to hold his stick properly, Matthew began to show him the basics of stick handling.

Matthew never thought he'd ever see Prussia close to an emotion that could be called _flustered. _

The albino had done fine when he was just moving it around a little bit in front of him while standing still, but as soon as you added in forward motion, he was as coordinated as Italy with a gun. Matthew feared for his stick.

After the Prussian had finished chasing his puck to every end of the rink, Canada decided it was time to move onto shooting. They started out stationary (Canada had never seen someone manage to shoot the puck backwards before), before skating up before a shot. Needless to say, it was mostly Canada's pucks that made it to the back of the net.

They finished with some passing. They moved slowly around the ice, Gilbert was still having trouble with his stick handling, but they were getting somewhere. Matthew began to go over rules with the Prussian, sometimes breaking off from whatever drill they were doing to give examples. This was the easiest part of the lesson; Prussia had already picked up on some of the rules from just watching the game.

Gilbert slumped onto the bench, thanking the Canadian as he passed him a water bottle. They sat there in silence for a moment, Canada staring at his equipment while the Prussian drank.

"Hmmm...Looks like we have to pack up."

Gilbert swallowed, breathing heavily just slightly as he spoke. "Why are we stopping? The Awesome Me would like to continue practicing ya know."

The Canadian chuckled quietly while gathering the equipment. "A local team has a practice soon. I don't think you'll want to take it away from them, they're known for being a little...rough."

Gilbert complained as they made their way back to the dressing room, but didn't really cause any trouble. He helped Canada carry out his equipment, pausing when he saw who was entering the rink after them.

"A girls' team. You're saying I should be afraid of a bunch of girls."

"Get them mad and it's your funeral. They have the most penalty time in their league and are known to cause quite a few injuries." Canada looked back at Prussia. "Girls can be quite vicious you know."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience."

"If you ever meet Alberta, you'll know what I'm talking about."

"Oooooo~ Is she supposed to be scary or something?"

Canada looked Prussia up and down. "You could say she's like you."

Gilbert stared in question in return. "What's that supposed to mean?" Canada lazily waved his hand in the air.

"Whatever you want it to." The smile could be heard in the blonde's voice.

* * *

"So if Alberta's like me what are the other's like?"

They were exiting the truck. Canada juggled all of his equipment this time, trying to figure out a way to carry it so that he could still open the door. It wasn't working out well. Prussia was on the passenger side, leaning against the door with his arms crossed. A light breeze was blowing, the crisp air causing both Nation's cheeks to slowly turn red.

"Hmmm?" Hummed Canada as he switched hockey sticks from underneath one arm to the other.

"If Albert-whatever is like the Awesome Me what are the other Province's like?"

Canada slung a bag over the other arm before grabbing his keys from the roof of the truck and slamming the door closed with his hip. "Well...I guess you could say Ontario's like America, B.C's like the Netherlands, and Saskatchewan can be like England at certain times."

Prussia mulled over that information. "...And you can seriously deal being around these kids all the time?"

"It's not all the time eh. Of course, my main house is big enough to accommodate them all and more, but they don't live there all the time. They all have their own homes in their province or territory. I don't think most of them could handle living in Ontario all the time anyways. They'd miss things about their certain provinces too much."

"Are different parts of your land that different?"

"Fuck yeah. Hell, even Alberta and B.C. don't like staying with each other too long, and they're neighbours. B.C. says Alberta has too much wind and Alberta says B.C. has "too much pansy-ass weather."

They had somehow made it inside, no thanks to Prussia, and the Canadian simply dropped his load in the living room. Prussia threw his jacket on top of the pile, a couple small coins falling out of its pockets. There was no move made to pick them up. "I can agree with that one about the wind."

Canada hummed, throwing his shoes in the closet haphazardly. They each ended up on different sides of the closet, but that was pretty much the same for every other pair of footwear in there. He picked up Prussia's jacket, putting it on a hanger and away. He then pulled off his sweater, revealing one of his numerous band tee-shirts that Prussia noticed seemed to never end in variety. This time it was a cloaked woman with black wings holding a cross, using it to fight off some serpentine beast. Gilbert didn't recognize the band name and took it to be one of Canada's. The sweater ended up being hung on the railing leading to the second floor.

Lunch was a quick affair, which it always seemed to be in the Canadian's house. They usually had something simple, just something like grilled cheese sandwiches or maybe a box of KD (which Prussia had learned was macaroni and cheese), which was on today's menu. Gilbert ate his bland, whereas Matthew covered his in an absurd amount of ketchup. Prussia had noticed that the Canadian's love of condiments wasn't only reserved to syrup; he regularly put ketchup on his food too.

Matthew leaned on the island, not bothering to take a proper seat as he ate. "What do you have for warmer clothing?"

"Some sweaters and that jacket. Why?" Prussia watched as his host then decided to add some pepper to his KD, once again in an absurd amount.

"It should start snowing soon; I'm worried that you won't have everything you need. Of course, it's just October so it shouldn't be that bad, you should be fine with what you have, it just depends on what snow we get and stuff."

"So? I'm not scared of any snow!"

"You've spent time with Russia right?"

The atmosphere in the room chilled. Prussia's bravado died as silence hung in the air, only broken by the ticking of a clock. Matthew then became flustered after a moment, apologizing profusely.

"I'm sorry if it's a bad topic, but you have to understand, my winters are like his." Matthew scratched his head, embarrassment growing as he continued his explanation. "It's not like in Germany. Your winters are really mind compared to ours. In the winter we easily dip down below freezing, and here in Alberta it may say its minus 20 outside, but if you don't listen to the full forecast it can actually be as low as minus 30, maybe even 40."

Prussia looked up at the Canadian, his head resting on his arm as he sat by the island. "And how does that work?" A sneer crossed his lips as a slight venom coated his voice.

Canada became more sheepish, a blush creeping its way onto his face. "The wind chill. It's quite horrible out here sometimes, out in Saskatchewan too. It rips at your skin if you don't cover it and the snot can seem to freeze in your nose. If anything that's what people are least prepared for when they come here in the winter. Sure they might have the right gear; it's just that they don't expect it. Especially if all they've seen of Canada is somewhere like interior B.C."

Gilbert continued to glare at Matthew for a moment before sighing. The energy seemed to leave his shoulders as he leaned backwards. "Your clothes should fit me if I need them shouldn't they?" Gilbert looked the Canadian up and down. He'd noticed soon after he arrived that the Canadian was in fact _taller_ than him. He'd always thought the blonde was shorter due to the fact that he was constantly slouching.

If you think about it though, Canada is the second largest country in the world.

Prussia then soon left the room with a gloomy air hanging around him, stating that he needed to check on Gilbird. Canada simply sighed; gut wringing in regret over bringing up such a depressing topic for the Prussian. Matthew poured himself a glass of wine, watching the drink sway as he picked it up. The glass felt cold in his hands. He noticed a chip in the base of it, the unseemly blemish taunting, as if saying nothing could go right for him.

He didn't bring the glass to his lips yet. The red colour, a colour that meant many things to him, at this moment reminded him of blood as he stared listlessly into the dark liquid. His eyes glazed over as he seemed to leave the present in mind, drowning in a memory that for him was one of the most depressing. Though he doubted many knew about it.

"I wonder how much your and my pains are alike."

He downed the glass before pouring another.

* * *

_'Cause we are broken  
What must we do to restore  
Our innocence  
And oh, the promise we adored  
Give us life again  
'Cause we just wanna be whole._

_We Are Broken by Paramore_

**Author's note- First of all I would like to do a shout out to a friend we shall refer to as Editor-sama (even though she won't even see this xD), who beta's every chapter for me!**

**Had some trouble picking lyrics for this chapter, but shuffle came through! **

**And thank you to all of you who have favourited, alerted, and/or reviewed this story. It makes my day to see those emails in my inbox!**

**R&R!**


	6. Different

_Chapter 6_

_Different_

Today, there was something different. It wasn't something he immediately noticed, getting up had gone normally for Gilbert. Gilbird's constant peeping had served as his alarm clock, signalling that breakfast was being made. He grumbled awake, staring at the ceiling for a moment before actually getting up and out of bed. He meandered through his room, noting that laundry needed to be done, as he searched for clothing for the day. One swipe with his hand and he deemed his hair acceptable. He brushed his teeth, also noting his need of more tooth paste.

He'd forget about that later though.

So far, the day was going as usual. The differences made themselves presentable once he got downstairs.

Like usual, the Canadian was in front of the stove, cooking breakfast. But, this time he didn't turn around to inquire what the Prussian wanted to eat. This time Gilbert made it to the island in silence. Gilbert didn't even think that the blonde's subconscious could even go about without hosting his guest in what he thought was the "proper manner".

He sat down, noticing the next difference. And that the floor was noticeable colder on his bare feet.

Usually, the Canadian hummed while he cooked. Gilbert had made that into another game. Every morning, he'd try to see if he recognized the tune Matthew had running through his head. It was always only one song, never more. It was like that song set the tone of the day. It was a peaceful activity, a quiet one that the Prussian always noticed.

Today the humming was replaced by tapping. The sounds seemed harsher than the humming, changing the atmosphere into one that seemed less friendly, more annoyed. The blonde's foot followed the beat inside of his head, giving nothing way. It was like the song of the day was a secret. It taunted Gilbert, saying it wasn't something he could be trusted with, something just out of reach.

He liked the humming better.

That's when he noticed the third difference. The tapping wasn't the only sound in the air, there was also popping. Gilbert looked to the stove; the pan on top of it was deeper set, the popping coming from within it. Instead of the standard pancakes, the Canadian was frying something. Gilbert watched as he removed whatever was inside of the pan, setting it on a plate before he turned to a bowl the albino hadn't noticed at his side. He reached in, taking a knife and cutting away dough from the giant blob inside of the container. Matthew quickly set it into the oil after cutting two slits in it.

"What are we having for breakfast?"

"Bannock." The Canadian moved to the piece that he'd just taken out of the pan, using some paper towel to take off excess grease.

"And bannock is…"

"A bread made the by the First Nations." Matthew flipped over the piece in the pan.

"And that's all we're having for breakfast?"

"I was thinking we could have some fruit with it; you can take your pick from the fridge. I'm almost done cooking these. If you like jam on you toast you might want to grab that too." Prussia didn't question, saving that for later. He grabbed items from the fridge, getting juice for himself and Canada too. That had become the routine. Canada cooked while Prussia helped set the table. A kindness only shown to the Canadian so far.

Matthew finished his cooking, bringing some of the bannock out on a plate to the table. He eagerly started to eat, quickly fishing for a piece of the bread and bringing it to his mouth. Gilbert sat down and grabbed one himself. The pastry was golden brown; he stared at it before taking a tentative bite.

It was dryer than he expected, feeling slightly weird on his tongue. That didn't mean it wasn't good though.

"This is awesome! Not as awesome as beer and pancakes and wurst, but still awesome!" The albino took another bite as the Canadian chuckled.

"Now try it with jam eh."

The albino and blonde quickly made their way through the bannock Matthew had brought to the table. The fruit was forgotten 'til every last piece was gone. The two males remembered though as soon as the other food source vanished, both deciding that there was always room for a little bit of fruit.

Prussia had grabbed an apple. The gala's red skin, which matched his eyes, made a crunch as he bit down into it, juice running down his chin. Canada had chosen an orange instead, having a soft spot for the citrus fruit. He slowly peeled the skin with deft fingers, the smell wafting into the silence.

"I'm sorry about yesterday."

Prussia looked up from his apple, taking one more large bite, the crunch resounding. Matthew peered over towards him before continuing.

"I shouldn't have brought up bad memories for you. It's not something I wish to do to people."

Gilbert chewed slowly before speaking, a slight sneer gracing his lips. "Whatever _kind._Just don't act all sympathetic like you understand what I'm going through. Someone young like you couldn't."

The smell of orange grew as Canada's fingers slipped, digging into the sweet, tender insides. The Canadian looked at it with indifferent eyes before lowering his head. "Just because I'm _younger_it doesn't mean I don't understand the world." The words came through gritted teeth, as if the blonde didn't want to utter them, as if they were a falsehood he didn't want to tell. Gilbert opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

"_You can steal my body but you can't steal my soul. 'Cause this is how it is and this is how it goes_." The words were a whispered hiss. Gilbert suspected that Matthew didn't even realize that they'd been spoken out loud. Gilbert could imagine the emotion in the Canadian's eyes; he could imagine rolling seas of violet, sinking who ever looked into them within their depths. He guessed the words were song lyrics, for they had a certain rhythm to them. The way the Canadian said them though, made them sound like they were a recitation, something he always repeated. Something to help him through tight moments. Something burned into his mind.

They sounded like a mantra.

Silence filled the air, Gilbert was unsure on how to proceed. That was taken care of for him though, as Canada stood. The chair screeched against the hardwood and Matthew seemed to flinch. He walked away from the table, eyes kept on the floor. "I'm going to take a nap."

Prussia nodded, even though the blonde wouldn't be able to see it. That didn't matter, for Matthew hadn't bothered to wait for a reply, he was already making his way up the stairs. The albino heard the stairs creak under his weight, the only noise in the house, other than that of a ticking clock.

The silence left in the blonde's wake was stifling. Gilbert sat there, staring at the browning apple in his hand, the fruit beginning its slow transformation to rot. He was dumbfounded. If anyone should have been emotional, it was him (not that he'd admit to it). It was him who was supposed to be set off onto a rollercoaster ride with his mind as a passenger. Instead, the forgotten Northern Nation had reacted, with no apparent valid reason. Sure, you might have issues being the younger twin, but it can't be that bad _right?_

He sat there, needing something, anything, to distract him from confusion. His hands acted before he realized and soon dishes were being balanced between the two. The two unfinished fruits were placed on top of the pile, the first things to be taken care of as he entered the kitchen.

* * *

Matthew hadn't even made it up the stairs before he was disturbed. A vibration traveled up his body; cell phone signalling the arrival of a text. Of course, it was from his brother, America, the one who always managed to annoy him and cause problems. He opened the offending message.

_Hey bro! Wazzup?_

He glared, mind lost in a haze of emotion. Clicks could be heard as he typed his reply.

_Nothing I dont feel like talking right now _

He was part way down the hallway when the reply came.

_Is someone messing with you? Don't worry! Heroes always protect their younger brothers!_

His hand clenched around his phone, he briefly wonder if he could break it. There is was again, that word, _younger_. It was just being tossed 'round so freely today wasn't it? Matthew glared at the piece of technology before thumping the rest of his way to his bedroom and throwing it on the bed. He expected another text message to come soon, one asking for a reply, that didn't matter though.

All thoughts of a nap were gone; he doubted his was going to take one in the first place anyways. Matthew turned around, heading back into the hallway. He stared at _that_door, one he hadn't opened in a long time. It was the perfect place to lose himself in at the moment.

He threw it open and entered.

* * *

The table was now clean, it had even been washed. Prussia stared at it for a moment, itching to be moving again. _Well...I guess I have laundry to do. _He set off to his room, being extra careful at being quiet when he ventured upstairs to his room. Rapidly, he gathered his dirty clothes and traversed to the basement. He began to sort, confusion still evident in his mind.

_Man, I wonder how long he's gonna be upstairs. Why'd he get set off like that anyways? I haven't gotten a reaction like that in a while. _Gilbert hated the awkwardness that had descended upon the whole house. It would be different if the Canadian was still in the same room as him. Then, he could pull up bravado and trudged his way through the situation, not caring if he looked like an ass while doing it.

This was different though. There was no one to annoy, no one to joke with. Just him and his thoughts, wallowing as they did laundry. Prussia threw in a load, once again realizing he was now empty handed. One appendage twitched, asking for movement. He sat down for a moment, on a chair that was randomly placed in the room.

It didn't last long; he was never one to sit still.

Prussia became a flurry of movement, moving around the house as he searched for something to do. Soon, he found himself in the garage, that "something" presented before him.

He grabbed a set of keys and was off.

* * *

The dead Nation hadn't been quadding in a while, but his knowledge was still there. He made his way around the kid's property, looking at the scenery. It wasn't something you'd find in the backyard at his house.

He drove round and round, not caring if he was going in one giant circle...square, whatever. He had thought to grab his jacket before leaving, but the cold air was still seeping into his skin, aided by the wind. Prussia was beginning to lose feeling in his fingers. He hadn't realized clouds had gathered overhead, but they were making their presence known now.

The first flake fell, small and weak. Soon, there were more, and Prussia realized how wet they were, the ones landing on him melted immediately. At first, he didn't mind, but they continued to come down, soon the Prussian was beginning to feel the chill as the wetness seeped into his clothing. His jacket had been left unzipped, giving little help against the flurries. He decided to turn it in, hoping that his host was in a better mood when he returned.

He shivered as he entered the house, thankful for the blast of warmth that greeted him. The weather here was truly horrible. He went downstairs, switching over his loads of laundry before heading to his room. He didn't pay attention to what was around him, running into the Canadian as he excited one of the rooms upstairs.

"Sorry eh."

The apology came out in a whisper, like Prussia was accustomed to. Canada looked at him with clear eyes, traces of apology within them. They were soon filled with puzzlement as the blonde looked over the albino.

"Jesus Prussia, why are you so wet?"

Gilbert looked over himself, not realizing quite the state he was in. His teeth began to chatter as the feelings of cold began to set in.

"I decided to go quadding."

Canada sighed as he looked over his guest before pushing the man towards his room. "Change then meet me downstairs in the living room. Dry off your hair a bit too."

Prussia nodded, before setting out to do his tasks. When he came downstairs Canada handed him a mug of hot chocolate, setting him down in front of a burning fire place.

"Really, only a foreigner would go outside that unprepared and not head in." Matthew took a sip of his hot chocolate. "I hope you now are beginning to realize _exactly_what Alberta weather is like."

"Crazy?"

The blonde nodded, and Gilbert once again wondered why someone would want to live here.

He took a sip of his own drink, feeling the warm liquid trickling down his insides. Whatever brand the hot chocolate was, it was _good._Canada was being completely helpful and hospitable, worrying over his guest as the fire burned. Quiet conversation was shared, and Prussia began to feel drowsy as the night wore on and warmth returned to his body.

Maybe this day wasn't so different after all.

Upstairs, there was a slight hole in the wall where Canada had thrown his phone at it.

* * *

_Take a look at what we've become__  
__Nothing more than silhouettes of__  
__A pretty family, on a postcard, picture perfect__  
__I don't want it!_

_So I hold my breath 'till my heart explodes__  
__'Cause this is how it is and this is how it goes__  
__You can steal my body but you can't steal my soul__  
__'Cause this is how it is and this is how it goes_

_This Is How It Goes by Billy Talent_

**Translations- **_**Kind**_** (German, kid)**

**Author's note- Hmmmmm~ I'm not sure how long this story is going to be~ I'm going to say it's going to take longer for the next chapter to come out. I think I want to really plan out the rest of the chapters well.**

**Also BILLY TALENT 3 If you don't listen to them, YOU SHOULD. **


	7. Intuition

_Chapter 7_

_Intuition_

"Mother fucker!"

Gilbert turned around, actually managing not to lose the puck as he did so. Matthew had reserved more ice time for the two, and the albino's skills were greatly improving. He was gaining speed in his skating and was starting to take more accurate shots (though, quite a few still went flying all over the place). Canada was a great teacher…when he wasn't pissed (so what if he'd managed to hit him in the face with a puck? It couldn't have hurt that bad).

Of course, Gilbert doubted Matthew would be very helpful from his position on the ice.

Canada had been sent careening into the boards, later he explained to Gilbert that his blade had picked. The blonde moved to stand, hissing in pain as soon as he put pressure on his left leg. He hauled himself up using the boards.

"You all right?"

Canada nodded. "It's probably just a sprain, I think it might be my knee, but it could be my ankle. I didn't hear any noises though, so at least it's not an ACL."

Now, Prussia was a man who'd gone through many injuries in his life. _Many _injuries. It kind of went along with the whole war-mongering nation thing. Now, just because he was a man that been through many injuries, it didn't mean he knew what a fucking ACL was.

"And that is…"

"A ligament in your knee. It's a fucking bitch to tear, can be career ending for humans."

"You going to heal it?"

Matthew shook his head. All Nations had the power to heal injuries that were just caused in everyday life and not a product of the condition of their country. It was a personal choice for Nations though, because there were side effects. The act itself was both taxing on the physical and mental being, usually afterwards Nations would be tired from healing and more irritable. It also depended on the type of injury; it was far easier to heal a cut then a sprain, since it's easier to locate the exact location of the cut and send energies there.

All Nations used it during times of war, but most decided to let injuries heal naturally otherwise. In a way it helped them connect to their peoples more, to live the way they had to.

"You can keep practicing if you want; we don't have much longer here anyways. I'll just start packing up the rest of the stuff."

Prussia started to skate around, picking up pucks and cones. "Nah, let's just get going then. I can't feel my toes anymore anyways." Gilbert then yelped, having lost his balance while bending down.

Matthew laughed. "Hmmm maybe we should go then. Don't want you to get injured too." Even though the blonde had just injured himself the mocking tone in his voice was heavy. "And I told you you'd want thicker socks."

"Shut up."

* * *

Gilbert was in the hallway upstairs, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. He was alone in the house for the moment. Canada had an Arctic conference meeting at the moment and was gone for the whole day. Man, he never realized how creaky this place was.

Of course, "he" wasn't the right word to use at the moment.

Gilbert scratched her head, afterwards running her fingers once through her long silver hair. All Nations would spend a couple days of each year as the opposite gender. Some equal representation thing, a side effect of woman's rights. Of course, female Nations had always gone through this (them manly men forced it upon them just with their assertiveness in everyday life alone).

It happened to them at complete random, though they could just to morph into their other gender at will. That didn't happen often though. Gilbert had been thoughtful when packing for this little adventure of hers, so she had packed a pair of pants. The shirts didn't matter though; they were just a little baggy but still appeared decent. Not like she needed them to impress anyone anyways. Pffft, her awesome took care of that.

This time she scratched her face, feeling the scar that ran along her cheek. She had no idea why she had one in this form and not the other. Some odd little tic she guessed.

_Odd like this damned door._

She folded her arms, a cold glare directed at the flat piece of wood. Call it women's intuition or something, but there was something wrong about that door.

Of course, you could also say that when you go to open it and a cold jolt of sharp pain spikes through the length of your arm.

It was a very odd door.

Gilbert unfolded her legs, left leg straightening as her right knee jutted up into the air. She scowled at the door; hair fell off her shoulders as she leaned forward slightly. It had to have been some sort of magic, something far better than the faulty spells England tried to cast all the time.

In other words, it was out of her expertise.

Norway was no doubt the best Nation at magic; he was perfectly in tune with his own skills and the creatures that helped him. England tried, Prussia would give him that, but his temper didn't make him the best candidate for excelling. Prussia herself had dabbled in the arts when she was younger, but the practice and patience needed didn't appeal to her like the drums of war did. Of course, lately she'd been trying out little tricks to pass the time.

Believing in magic was a choice for Nations; one most didn't waste the time on.

Gilbert tapped her finger against her elbow, trying to figure out what exactly was going on with the door. Whatever the Canadian had done was good, she couldn't figure out how to get through. Though, there was a chance he was getting help from some sort of creature. She sighed. No matter what, the Canadian definitely had more skills when dealing with magic than her.

She continued to stare, body stilling except for that one finger. She jumped slightly as a noise sliced through the silence. Standing, she cursed at the waves of discomfort radiating from her funny bone. Damn wall got in the way, going and attacking her funny bone like that.

That's when she realized that Canada was not supposed to be back yet, and he never said anyone was coming over. She heard the banging of someone throwing what she guessed were shoes around. Quietly, she walked down the stairs, fiddling with a switch blade she kept in her pocket.

As she walked down the stairs a blur of raven black hair walked past them, a cooler in one hand and a stack of papers in the other. Prussia came out of the slight crouch she was in, thinking about how the girl had appeared kind of familiar. She walked down the rest of the stairs, clearing her throat as she entered the kitchen.

The raven-haired girl set the cooler down on the island with a thump, the papers slapping down beside it. "I take it you're Prussia then?"

Prussia looked her up and down, nose crinkling at the sight of a cowboy hat. "Yes. Who the hell are you?"

The girl grinned cockily, hands on her hip as she brought up her head. "Alberta of course, ninth province of this fucking awesome land of ours."

Gilbert than realized she had recognized the girl from the picture Canada had shown her. "Awesome is my word. Do you really think it can be applied to _this_ place?"

Okay, maybe that had come out a bit more condescending than she meant, but still! You just can't go throwing the word awesome around like that!

Alberta's eyes darkened as her grin grew wider. The shadow casted upon her face by her hat only added to the menacing look she was giving. "Now, what's that supposed to mean?"

Gilbert looked at the girl's threating stance, wanting a chance for a fight. She would've taken it to, if it wasn't for the fact that this frickin' scary ass owl came out of fucking nowhere and landed right on Alberta's outstretched arm.

She decided she like her eyes where they were. Those talons looked fucking nasty.

So, instead she decided to change the subject. "What's in the cooler? Beer?"

Alberta blinked, surprised at the question, then relaxed. Her arm with the owl lowered a bit as she stopped leaning over the island. Her grin toned down, only slightly on her lips now. "Dinner. I decided to come over to make sure my dad wasn't getting harassed by an asshole. Of course, I didn't think I'd be dining with another woman."

Prussia groaned. "It's that time of year okay?" She hated being in girl form, it felt wrong when suddenly all these human guys were hitting on you. Or when other girls would make comments on how you appeared.

Alberta only laughed at the way Prussia made it sound like a yearly period. Her owl fluttered off her arm, landing on a chair. "Now, even though you're a woman for the moment that doesn't get you out of interrogation."

"…What?"

"How do you like your steak done?"

"Medium rare."

Alberta nodded, seeming satisfied with the answer as she pulled meat from the cooler. "Good. You're not one of those pansy-asses that kill it."

Prussia sat down, staring warily at the owl as it ruffled its feather. The raptor's head swiveled towards her, the yellow eyes boring into her. Creepy ass fucker.

"Now second one. You have a pet?"

"Yeah, duh. Gilbird." Gilbert whistled. Gilbird quickly came fluttering into the room, landing on its usual spot on its master's head.

"Cute. No eating it Chinook." The owl gave a low "whooo" in response. Prussia once again eyed it warily, wondering if it actually would eat Gilbird.

The raven hair girl threw out the packages the steaks had been in, and then set the meat aside to marinade. She then pulled out a bag of potatoes and began to wash, peel, and slice them up. "Have you had any perverse, affectionate, sexual, homicidal, sadistic or hateful thoughts about my father?"

Gilbert looked at her with disbelief. "What the fuck?"

"Ya sorry. That one came from Ontario, Quebec and New Brunswick. They're fucking Easterners, what else can ya expect."

"Wait you guys actually came up with the time to think of these questions?"

"Pfffft yeah. You don't have the best reputation around. Have to figure some stuff out about you if you're spending so long with Dad." The thump of the knife was ominously loud this time. "Wouldn't want ya hurting him after all. It'd end badly, for _both_ of you." The knife thumped again.

Gilbert looked at the girl; her face had become dark once again as the threat seated itself in her mind. Alberta had since then removed her hat, her hair falling in front of her face as her hand stilled and she glared a warning at the albino.

Prussia's lips curled into a snarl as she realized where exactly she knew the girl from. "You're the one who shot me at Vimy Ridge!"

Alberta threw her head back, laugh loud and large as she stuck the knife down in the wooden cutting board. "So she remembers! That's good. Then you'll know exactly what I'll do to you if you in any way hurt my father. Feel free to use your imagination and apply that to my brothers and sisters too. Quebec and Manitoba have also been known to have a bit of a mean streak."

Alberta was now leaning across the island, glaring right into Prussia's eyes. The albino blinked, mouth curling into a grin. "Kesesesesese. I like you. I'll keep your little warning in mind _Rabe._"

Alberta returned the smile, back straightening as she plucked the knife from the board. "Good to hear. Now, you never answered my question."

Prussia blushed, "You actually want me to answer that?"

Alberta giggled. "Nah, just screwing with ya." She put some of the potatoes that had already been cut into tinfoil.

_Good, because I don't think you'd like my answer._ The room quieted as Prussia thought about her feelings towards Matthew as Alberta continued to prepare dinner. She had never thought about it before, but if something did happen between her and Matthew, what would others think? Obviously America and England would attack her for getting close to their "precious little Matthew", if they remembered him. How France would react was up in the air, they were best friends but this was his kid after all. Gilbert remembered how she used to worry about _Westen_, she could somewhat imagine what France would feel.

And as Prussia watched the girl in front of her prepare dinner, she realized there was one other thing she'd have to factor in. His kids. She didn't really know much about them, regions like Provinces preferred to stay away from other Nations. Sure, sometimes you'd meet a region for a moment, but those weren't usually under the best circumstances (i.e. getting shot in the head). Some were more involved in world affairs then others too. Gilbert thought she remember how Canada had mentioned how Alberta stayed very involved with her oil industry, making her one of the more busy Provinces.

_And he has twelve others. Wonder what they're like._

Prussia continued to watch the girl cook dinner. She went through the motions; Gilbert guessed she made this often.

_He said one's like Lars, one's like Arthur, one's like Alfred, and I can see how Alberta's like me. That leaves nine others though, two of which Alberta made sound like they have tempers. An interesting bunch for someone like Matthew to have. _

Chinook who'd. Alberta threw the knife she'd been using into the sink, stacking packets of tinfoil on top of each other, the potatoes inside. "What's your name _kind_?"

"Hmmm. Asking that during our first meeting, how bold of you." She grabbed the packets and the tray with the steaks, balancing them between her arms. "Alexandra."

"Gilbert."

"Great name for a girl."

"Shut it."

Alexandra laughed. "Just come help me with this damn door."

"Why should I?"

"Do you want supper? I have to go outside to get to the barbeque."

"But it's snowing."

"So?"

Prussia shook her head as she opened the patio door. "Damn Canadians."

* * *

_Get hot, get too close to the flame  
Wild, open space  
Talk like an open book  
Sign me up  
Got no time to take a picture  
I'll remember someday all the chances we took  
We're so close to something better left unknown  
We're so close to something better left unknown_

_I can feel it in my bones_

_Gimme Sympathy by Metric_

_**Rabe-**_**raven**

_**Westen-**_**West**

**Author's note- I'm so sorry this took so long! My beta was outta town and I value her advice and so decided to wait for her. I originally planned to use **_**Man! I Feel Like A Woman! **_**lyrics but felt that they didn't totally tie in with the tone of the story. So I went with another Canadian band instead~**

**Please, please review! I'd like to hear your opinions of Fem!Prussia suddenly being in the story, and about my OC!Alberta. Also, if you want to know about the whole Vimy Ridge thing, the second chapter of **_**Unknown Muse**_** is actually that story!**

**And don't worry my Eastern Canadian readers, I love you all. Even if you're stealing all of the hot weather. xDDDD**


	8. Flash Back

_Chapter 8_

_Flash Back _

Canada sat in his seat, praying to whatever deity out there that would listen to him for the end of this god damn meeting.

It was so fucking _boring._

America was being the usual ass, throwing things and interrupting whoever was speaking. That in itself was bad enough, but some idiot (Denmark) had put him beside Russia. Needless to say the meeting had been doomed from there on.

Now, sometimes it was a good thing that people didn't notice Canada. If they did, he'd probably cause others as much irritation as America.

Okay maybe not that much. But you get the idea.

It wasn't like he did it on purpose; he didn't want to disturb anyone. He hated calling unneeded attention to himself anyways. It always made him uncomfortable, having all those eyes on him. He felt far more at ease when he was alone. He'd spent so much of his time that way anyways.

His problem was he couldn't sit still. He was constantly moving around. Sit with legs crossed. Switch them around. Slide down into his seat. Shimmy his way back up. He constantly went through these motions. It wasn't just those ones too. One of his legs was usually shaking (something Arthur hated and tried to stop) or he was tapping his pen against the desk.

Though he wasn't doing any of those at the moment.

Dear lord did he love Alexisonfire.

The blonde was currently drumming out Young Cardinals on his desk, fingers going red from the continuous banging. He mouthed the words, even letting out a faint whisper. The two Nations beside him, Iceland on his right and Greenland on his left, gave no sign of even noticing his actions.

He was okay with that.

* * *

Iceland sighed, watching as Russia moved to take the stand. His presentation wasn't supposed to be long, but with America here it was going to be. Mr. Puffin was on the ground beside his chair, staring at the sleeping polar bear that was to their left.

_Who has a polar bear again?_

Iceland mulled over it, trying to remember which Nation had the wild animal for their companion. His first notions brought forth thoughts of tanned skin and long black hair. They were fuzzy though, like his memories from back in the days when they were all Vikings. Good times, good times.

He was snapped out of his memories by a low squawk, Mr. Puffin had come out of its balled sitting position, wings flaring outward slightly as its beak slowly closed. The sleeping polar bear was now wide awake and staring at his bird.

"Friend?"

Yes, Iceland did remember that dopey animal. It would always wander around at meetings, Mr. Puffin had a strong dislike for it. It would always clear off the snack table too.

Mr. Puffin ruffled his feathers, keeping its steely eyes on the bear as it rose, coming to stand on its hind legs. The white animal yawned, wide jaw opening to show off dozens of sharp, yellow teeth. It then flopped back down to being on four legs, landing with a quiet thump against the carpet.

Iceland watched the bear warily as it eyed up his precious puffin. It wouldn't try to eat it would it?

"Hungry." Iceland tensed, waiting for the bear to attack Mr. Puffin. Instead, the drumming stopped as the blonde beside him reached into his briefcase.

"Fatass."

The blonde withdrew a container. Opening it he fished out some dried meat, reaching it down into his bear's open mouth.

Iceland for sure thought the blonde was going to lose a finger as he watched the mammal's jaw shut closed, the clack reaching his ears.

The Nation beside him then rubbed the bear's head before returning his hand to the top of the table.

Iceland watched as the bear then lazily went back to sleep, yawning one more time before it rested its head.

_Canada, that's who owned the bear._

* * *

Hours later, the meeting was still boring as hell. And they'd only just come back from lunch. Canada groaned in his head, dreading having to sit in that horrid chair for the rest of the afternoon. There were so many more things he could be doing. Watching tv. Playing hockey. Drinking beer. Watching hockey on tv while drinking beer. This meeting was just a giant waste of valuable time.

Kumajirou now rested in the blonde's lap, head on top of the table in front of them. The bear's tired eyes stared at the gathering of Nations around it. Kumajirou was always a little more tired on meeting days, unless an opportunity to cause trouble arose of course.

Canada's eye began to wander the room, settling on Norway's troll. The green beast leaned over Norway's shoulder, watching the proceedings with colourless eyes. A slight, playful smile curled its way onto its face at the site of the chaotic meeting. Norway would every once in a while talk to it, but no one else seemed to notice.

Canada was still watching the troll when a voice broke into his thoughts, literally.

"_Canada."_

The voice simmered with irritation and rage as Canada sighed, _"What is it?"_

Images of violent waves came to Canada's mind as the voice replied. _"It wasn't only a troll that followed that silent one this time, something else came to. She's encroaching on my domain. I want her gone."_

Canada sighed before replying._ "She'll leave with him, stick it out for now."_

"_So again you'll allow them into our land without consequence? Those ignorant fools should learn of the spirits that guard these mortal lands they've already changed! They should learn where boundaries lie! I'll send that foolish Sea Goddess floundering back to her home for entering upon my seas without knowledge of the one who rules them! I'll show her exactly what the cruelties of these lands are! Why should I sit back while she doesn't even recognize that here I rule these-"_

"_Sedna!" _

The voice stopped at his mental yell, though he could still feel the wrath bubbling beneath the Goddess's surface as she watched Norway's own Goddess. _"You'll leave her alone. Norway will head back home tomorrow and her with him. Do not do anything to her."_

"_But-"_

"_I don't wish to deal with this right now! If you hurt her Norway will surely ask about it. Just leave it alone!"_

The vengeful Goddess withdrew from his mind at last, temper boiling as she retreated to her lair, leaving the Norse Goddess behind to trespass her waters. Canada inwardly groaned, knowing that Sedna would not be placated for a while now.

Just what he needed.

The Canadian was broken out of worrying thoughts about the Inuit Sea Goddess when suddenly Denmark started shouting.

Well, not shouting, he was screeching like a little girl that had just seen the boogie monster.

Canada didn't know what he was saying, the Dane wasn't speaking English and his words were coming out in a garbled stream. Denmark was staring right at him as he threw his chair backwards, stumbling as he backed away from the table.

Norway stood up and sighed. "He's just having a relapse. The meeting will be adjourned for today."

Denmark had backed himself up to the wall, still staring wide-eyed at Canada. The blonde face was blank as Norway led the Dane from the room. He sighed as he looked through his papers. He might as well finish his work in here.

The door slammed as Norway and Denmark left the room.

"_Quite the impression you've left on him."_

Canada blushed. _"Oh shut the hell up!"_

* * *

Now, even though Norway had called the ended of the meeting (which was in fact Denmark's job), everyone else was still milling about the room. Most Nations were distributing data and discussing about this and that (with the exception of America, who'd just stayed behind to annoy Russia), but Canada was merely sitting by himself. He was going over his notes, making them neater (it other words, legible) where he needed to.

Needless to say, Canada was quite shocked when someone talked to him.

"Canada, are you okay?"

Canada hummed, looking up from his notes towards Iceland. "What do ya mean?"

"Well, you looked like you were limping earlier."

Now Canada was amazed. Not only was someone talking to him, but they had noticed him earlier too. Not to mention they noticed him long enough to spot a limp.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a hockey injury."

"Oh." Iceland just nodded, returning to his own work. It was just some reports on wild sea mammals around his country. As Canada returned to his work, Iceland kept looking at the blonde from his peripheral vision.

_Could it be him? Denmark's ramblings earlier suggest at it but…_

The boy-looking Nation glanced down at his pet, speaking to it in his own language. "Do you think it's him Mr. Puffin?"

The puffin's beady eyes stared up back at him. "I don't know. Just ask."

Iceland, not being a very forward person, didn't want to do this. Curiosity won over though.

"Canada."

"Hmmm?"

"How old are you?"

Iceland watched as the blonde stiffened, even the bear that had resting looked up at him with harden eyes.

"Why do you ask that?"

The tone of voice slightly scared Iceland; it wasn't the kind whisper that he was used to from the blonde. It was harsh, grating against his ears. Canada's eyes had also hardened and Iceland could tell the straining smile on his face was seconds away from becoming a hard line.

"Oh it's nothing. I was just wondering." _Maybe he really could be him. He looks so different though…_

Canada nodded, the fake smile still in place. He stood, chair screeching as it moved back. "If that's all then I'll be going. People are waiting on me for dinner." Canada quickly left then, his bear shooting a glare before following.

_That bear surely acts like _his_ though… What would the others think if it is him?_

Ice land looked down at Mr. Puffin. "There's a possibility I think."

All he got was a squawk in return.

* * *

Canada sighed as he exited his truck, thinking about the question that Iceland had asked. He leaned against the vehicle for a moment, staring up at the cloudy sky. A slight breeze blew through his hair.

_It'll be best if he does not remember that. There's no good that can come from it. _

He looked down at this shoes, the black leather was already becoming old and weathered.

_Yes, no good could come from it._

He sighed as the breeze came again, this time bring the smells of a barbeque. He stood there, wondering why that scent was on the wind. Then he remembered that Alberta was coming over.

Alberta.

Prussia.

Both have giant egos.

Both are in the same room.

_Shit!_

Needless to say, Canada was a little worried. He had no frickin' idea on how those two would get along. There was a chance they'd be like frickin' broskis by the end of the night, but they could also just end up hating each other's guts.

Not to mention the whole she shot him in the head thing. _Shiiiiiit._

Canada threw open the door, taking a quick look around to make sure the house was alright. Cause ya know what? That's all that mattered here, he wouldn't care if they'd beaten the shit out of each other, they'd heal quickly. Now if the house was harmed in some way, that'd be a bitch to fix.

He sighed in relief at the seemingly okay entrance way before taking off his shoes and continuing into the house. He was happy to see everything was fine as he made his way through the patio door. Though, he was surprised to hear two girls out there, had Saskatchewan come too?

"Oi! Looks who's finally home. Kesesese."

Canada jumped at the voice, looking towards the silver-headed girl with wide eyes. "Prussia?"

"The awesome one and only." Prussia took a swig of her beer, burping as she set it down back on the patio table. "Woke up like this this morning."

Matthew nodded, he'd been out the door before the Prussian had woken up and hadn't seen him…her this morning.

"You have everything you need then?"

Prussia feigned a look of hurt as she melodramatically brought her hands to her chest, just below her neck. "What do I look like to you? An idiot? Of course I came prepared." She grinned as she crossed her arms. "So how'd the meeting go? Anyone kill anybody?"

Alberta flipped one of the steaks. "Speaking of meetings, the notes you wanted are on the island Dad." She flipped the other two. "And these are almost done."

Canada nodded as he grabbed the plates that'd they'd dine on. "Thanks." He opened one of the tinfoil packs, scooping out heaping spoonfuls of cooked potatoes, onions and carrots. He paid no mind to the heat still coming off the sheeted metal and barbeque. Alberta then threw a steak on the plate. Canada then grabbed utensils and handed the meal to Prussia.

Gilbert nodded in return as the other two prepared their own plates.

They ate in silence for a few moments. Something of which, Gilbert always had to break.

"So, did anyone kill anybody?"

* * *

_If I had it my way I'd slit your throat_

_With the knife that you left in my back._

_Sleep With One Eye Open by Bring Me The Horizon_

**Author's note- Not much to say for this chapter. I always imagine Sedna would be a cranky, vengeful Goddess. xD Kinda to be expected when your own father cuts off your fingers and throws you into the sea though . xDDD**


	9. Game

_Chapter 9_

_Game_

When Gilbert woke up that morning, it wasn't to the usual sounds of Gilbird's cheeping, but to the twang of country music. She rolled over, noting that she was still a god damn girl and that her hair was an utter mess. The dead Nation blinked once, then twice, eyes scanning the room for the horrid music's source.

She sat up, sheets in disarray around her as she rearranged the shorts and tank top she had borrowed from Alberta the night before. (The girl had insisted after she learned how little women's clothing Prussia had.) The tank top was a little loose, but the shorts had a tie in them and were no problem.

She rubbed her eyes, somewhat growling as she hopped out of bed. This was not the way she liked to get up in the morning. Gilbird flew over and landed on her head as she exited the room, the noise level increasing as she entered the hallway.

The wood was smooth and cool against her feet as she made her way down the stairs. She had taken a quick glance at the Door as she passed by, but it was closed as usual. She though t that she had heard someone in there last night, the creaking of the old hinges giving the person away.

Her mind turned to other things as she entered the kitchen.

Now, when you're used to seeing a cute blonde haired piece of man candy quietly humming as he cooked breakfast in the morning it's a little different from the current sight of a raven haired girl as she shook around like a mad woman while singing along to a song about trucks.

Motherfucking trucks.

This better be one good breakfast.

Just before Prussia was about to make her presence known, said man candy entered the room. In the spitting image of his daughter, he was dancing crazily as he made his way to help with the cooking. Words effortlessly flowed from his lips as the song continued. Neither of them had yet to notice their guest.

Of course, not that it mattered. She was just standing there wondering what the fuck this shit was and what the hell happened to the quiet, shy Canadian.

Strange things happen when you actually start to get to know a person. And this was something Gilbert did not mind.

The woman smirked as she silently descended the last step and stalked her way towards the Canadian. She took him by surprised as she laced his fingers around hers, cutting him off from the fridge as they entered something similar to that of a two-step. Canada then seemed to falter, the shy demeanor falling back into place as he stumbled over his own feet.

Prussia released him so that the blonde could regain his balance, giggling all the while. "Not so smooth with a partner _ja?_" Gilbert didn't notice the Albertan behind them that had looked away from the stove, watching her with blank eyes. The girl absentmindedly flipped over that last piece of bacon that she needed to, deciding to let things take their course and watch them unfold.

Matthew sputtered as he looked at the Prussian, a light blush on his face. "You surprised me eh! Frick you'd think you're a ghost or something!"

Gilbert smirked as she turned to get something to drink from the fridge. She looked over her shoulder as she spoke. "I'm not the one dancing around like a mad man to lousy music."

"Hey!" The outburst had come from Alberta this time as she pointed the pair of tongs she had been using towards Prussia. The morning sun glinted off of them as she snapped them closed once. "No dissing my music!"

Alexandra smirked as the song changed and she returned to her singing with renewed vigour. Matthew chuckled quietly at the look of annoyance on Prussia's face as his daughter resumed her cooking. "We're having bacon and eggs this morning. How would you like your egg done?"

Prussia reached into the fridge to grab the orange juice as she saw Canada was grabbing the glasses. "Over eas-"

"_I'm gonna FLYYYYYYY!_" Alexandra smirked as she looked towards the Prussian, nodding to show that she had heard Gilbert's answer through her own teasing. The albino grumbled as she poured herself a drink.

"Damn country music."

* * *

Breakfast was energetic, but uneventful. Though, Gilbert didn't think she had ever seen Canada so loose. It must have been because he had family with him. The father and daughter were snarky with each other, but in the loving way instead of the I-hate-your-guts way.

She smiled as she watched the two. She knew she was seeing what Matthew was really like, the person he'd be if you were a trusted friend. It was something you'd rarely get a glimpse of at a world meeting, more likely to happen out on the ice or battlefield.

He was still kind, still thoughtful of the other person, still empathetic. But at the same time his clever mind showed. He could calculate how far to take a joke and what to say to really make it hurt. His smile was more genuine, less naïve looking (though, Prussia guessed that his naivety was just an act). Prussia also discovered that the Canadian's laughter could be surprisingly loud.

She was loving every minute of it.

Soon, Alberta was waving goodbye. Her truck's engine roared as she set off down the road, returning to her house before heading to that of her sister's, Saskatchewan. Gilbert was standing by the door with Matthew as he closed it, the click of the lock in timing with his sigh.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. The energy seemed to have left the Canadian as they made their way to the living room, Matthew flopping into a couch as Gilbert took the love seat.

"Something wrong?"

Matthew blinked in surprise, as if he had forgotten Gilbert was there for a second. "Oh it's nothing, I'm just conflicted about something. It's nothing major though." He picked up the remote. "Would you like to watch some tv?"

Gilbert nodded and they began to search through the channels. There seemed to be nothing awesome enough for the albino until they came up to a sports network.

"You want to watch curling?"

Gilbert nodded as she squirmed around, trying to get in a comfortable position for the draw. "Of course, it's fucking awesome." Her eyes narrowed. "You got a problem?"

Canada blinked once, a look of surprise on his face once again. Then, he smirked. "No, of course not. My teams are the best in the world after all."

Gilbert scoffed. "I could beat you any day."

"Oh really now. Then why don't you ask to be on the World team for when we have our fun game during the Continental Cup this year. My team will beat yours, even if we have a bit of a handicap." The last half of the ending sentence came out low and grumbled.

"Handicap?"

"America."

Gilbert laughed. She doubled over, clutching her stomach at the blunt response.

"I guess that is a handicap."

"Of course it is! He's annoying! It throws off the whole chemistry of the team. He never manages to pull it together during the games, even Saskatchewan and Alberta can stop their bickering when they're playing. And that being bad enough, half the time he wants to skip! Do you how hard it is to convince him he's better off as third let alone the second we have him at?" Canada scowled as he finished ranting…for the moment.

Gilbert watched him for a moment, to make sure he was done. When she thought it was her turn to speak, she smirked. "So the ever-quiet Matthew Williams speaks out on his brother. I must say I'm glad to be here on this day."

Matthew scoffed. "I've made him cry with my ranting; this is just the first time I've done it in front of someone other than him or my children."

Gilbert laughed; she had never expected to hear about something like that. "You North Americans aren't what you truly seem, are you ?"

The blonde shook his head. "No. But Alfred is still a loud-mouthed idiot."

Red eyes turned back the TV screen, the end had just finished, the red team stealing one point. The score was tied at 4-4. "So I'm guessing you guys aren't as close as you seem."

It was silent for a minute. The teams on the ice had enough time to start their next end. The red team threw up a guard to start the tenth. "In ways, yes. But contrary to belief we don't share every little secret. We're brothers not gossipers."

Yellow drew behind the red's guard, the rock slid into the back eight-foot. "And what about the big secrets?"

Red took out the yellow's stone, rolling out in the process. "We all have those secrets we don't share with anyone."

_Insecurities, lies, shadows, crushed dreams. You know all about those don't you __Königreich Preußen? _

_Shut up._ Even if she didn't realize it, Prussia instinctively brought one of her hands up to her head, clutching at her hair. Just shut up!

_Oh how your dreams were dashed! Swept away in the tides of the changing world as you were left to float as __jetsam __casted overboard. What's it like to be all alone? How much time do you have left in this world? How much longer are going to feed of those around you to continue your worthless exis-_

"Gilbert?"

Her eyes snapped open. Gilbert at some point in her thoughts had curled up into a ball, both hands wrapping around her head as she brought it into her knees. Her hands were clammy and she could feel a layer of sweat around her hair line. Her scalp stung from where her nail had dug in as she'd gripped at the sensitive skin. She glanced a wide eyed look at Canada.

"Prussia are you alright?"

She nodded slowly, uncurling from herself as she returned to reality. For now the voice was gone, her head becoming clearer. The albino shook it slightly, as if sending off the last of the cobwebs that had appeared over her mind.

"_Ja._ I'm fine."

Canada looked over her worriedly. He was unsure of why Prussia was behaving like this, though he did not feel it was his place to pry. "Are you sure? Can I get you anything?"

At first Prussia thought to refuse his offer, but she soon realized how dry her mouth was. She couldn't have been out of it for that long could she have?

"Some water please."

Canada nodded, hesitantly getting up and making his way quickly to the kitchen. Prussia watched him go, uncurling and stretching her fingers as she did so. For however long she'd been out of it, over that time they'd become stiff, muscles clenching from holding the same position for so long.

She jumped slightly as Canada came back into the room, glass of water in hand. She thanked him as she took it, noting that he'd thought to put ice in it. Tentatively, she took a sip, the cool liquid refreshing on her throat. Before she knew it, she had downed the whole glass.

"Feeling better?"

Prussia nodded, still not meeting the Canadian's eyes. She was thinking again, though this time without the added opinions.

The two entered silence, both thinking over the situation in their minds. Canada was wondering what was going on with the Prussian, while Prussia was wondering how she was now viewed in Canada's eyes. With the ticking of the clock signalling the passing of time they sat there.

Prussia standing broke the silence. "I'm going to go take a nap."

Canada nodded taking the cup from her as she left the room.

As she walked by, Gilbert took on last look at the TV which at some point had become muted. The score from the previous curling game had come up on the screen again. Red had won 6-4, stealing two in the last end.

* * *

_This is how I show my love.__  
__Made it in my mind because__  
__Blame it on my ADD baby_

_This is how an angel cries__  
__Blame it on my sick pride__  
__Blame it on my ADD baby_

_Sail by Awolnation_

**Author's note- First off, the two country songs mentioned at the beginning. The song about "motherfucking trucks" is Truck Got Stuck by Corb Lund. The one Alberta was singing is I'm Going To Fly by Paul Brandt. Just go listen to Truck Got Stuck, you just have to. xDDD **

**Also, curling. I watch it, I play it, I love it.**

**I think that's all that needs to be said about this chapter. Please review!**


	10. Call

_Chapter 10_

_Call_

He took the last bite of his breakfast setting his fork and knife down on the plate with a _clank!_ The syrup was sweet in his mouth, the pancakes good as always. Prussia got up and took his dishes to the sink, giving them a quick rinse before putting them into the half-full dish washer.

He had woken up to a being man again this morning and Canada minded not to ask him about what had happened yesterday. All-in-all a good start to the day.

With his luck it wouldn't stay good though.

Canada had finished eating before him. The blonde had the ability to wolf down pancakes like his brother had for hamburgers. He somehow managed to be cleaner than the other though, something that could be counted as a miracle. Maple syrup's as sticky as hell and the shit gets everywhere.

Matthew was at the island glancing through the mail, newspaper resting in front of him to be read after. Gilbert reached for his glass of juice, downing it before setting it in the dish washer. "Hey, can I have your internet password?"

Canada hummed, absentmindedly looking up from the envelopes in his hands. "Huh, what?" He looked at Gilbert, setting the mail back down on the island and reaching for the paper.

Gilbert sighed loudly, still not in a good mood after yesterday. "Can I have your internet password? I was going to talk to my_ bruder_ today over my laptop today."

"Oh sure!" Matthew walked over to beside his fridge, grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. He took a moment, putting his hands in front of him as if he had an invisible keyboard and was typing on it before writing down his password. Gilbert watched the blonde. He knew if someone like Ludwig was taking this long, or had to remember something in such a way, he'd just end up getting more pissed and rag on him. But with Matthew it was different. The kid honestly wanted to help, and wasn't just doing this to get him out of his hair. He'd quickly learned Canada didn't sugar coat things, he was just damn good at hiding his real thoughts and even then would usually try to present them in a non-offensive way. If he wanted space, he'd say so.

Not to mention watching him type on an invisible key board was kind of cute.

Matthew ripped the piece of paper off the pad, holding it out to the Prussian. Gilbert nodded as he took it, glancing quickly at the password before sticking it in his pocket. He turned around mumbling a quick thanks as he walked up the stairs to his room.

He kicked clothing away from the door as he entered, the guest room now made into the usual mess his living quarters would always come to be. Really, it was just proof that he was enjoying himself here. A sign that he was enjoying the hospitality if you will.

He reached for a bag sitting beside the nightstand. Opening the laptop case he first pulled out the charger and plugged it in, just in case he needed it. He rested his laptop on the bed, flipping it open and pressing the start button. After taking a quick peek to see what else he had thrown in there, he threw the bag to the side, not caring as it thumped to the floor.

The laptop hummed as it started up, the glow of the screen barely visible against the bed in the decently-lit room. Gilbert sat down on the bed, shifting around into a comfortable position. He had swung his legs up onto the bed and sat with them stretched out beneath him, his back resting against pillows he had propped up against the headboard and wall. He tapped his fingers against the machine as he waited for it to load.

He smiled when his desktop showed up, the background a nice picture of Ludwig looking embarrassed in an apron as Feliciano tackled him from behind. Needless to say that had been a great moment, though it was too bad about the cake they had ended up wasting.

He opened up a browser, then his needed page, quickly typing in his username and password for the conferencing site all Nations used. It had been specially made for them-something about needing secure lines for communication-not that Gilbert cared. His brother was already shown as being online when he logged in. The tight ass had probably planned on being at least fifteen minutes early.

A box popped up on his screen, an invitation for a call. He laughed slightly as he accepted, grinning as his brother's face began to stare back at him. "Couldn't wait for the chance to talk to someone as awesome as me again could ya?"

He spoke to his brother in German, there was no need for them not to. It was good to be speaking his tongue again. It felt so much more natural than English.

The blonde on the other end of the line sighed; already reaching up to rub is forehead. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't spending time getting in trouble or something. It's worrisome just leaving someone like you alone across an ocean."

"Hey! I am staying with someone." Gilbert seemed to pout a little, before grinning widely again. "It's okay brother, you can admit to missing me."

"Yeah, whatever." Ludwig sighed again. "You've been doing well at least? Staying out of trouble?" The last question came out slightly as a growl.

Gilbert tried to put on a shit eating grin, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Really now, have some faith in me. What could I possible do out he-"

"What's wrong?"

The albino was silenced as the blonde cut him off. He took a moment, thinking over his reply and wondering if he could get away with lying. The glare Ludwig was giving him made him decided against it though. He might as well get this over with.

"The Voice is back."

Ludwig seemed to go wide-eyed for a moment. "The one you heard after the war?"

Gilbert nodded, and Ludwig swore in German. The blonde's eyebrows were furrowed. "And what about the nightmares?"

Gilbert gave a faint smile. "Those aren't back at least."

His brother mulled over things, "Would you like to come back?"

Gilbert eyed his brother through the screen, mulling over the offer. He wanted to accept, but at the same time he didn't. He knew that his brother was one of the people that were extremely in favour of this trip, and even if that knowledge did hurt he still wanted to give his brother the space he deserved. It'd be great though, to have his brother close by again. Even if he wouldn't admit it out loud, Ludwig was a rock for him. He kept him stable, happy and would know what to do with himself in such a state as he was now.

He continued to think, Ludwig watching him through the screen, patiently waiting. The German knew how his brother sometimes needed a long moment of quiet to think to himself. As the two sat there though, it was for Prussia as if there was a third person in the conversation. The Voice was like a third person; he imagined it as a white ethereal figure that hung over his shoulder. It's wicked mouth with a cruel smile would whisper insanity in his ear as he tried to think. Even with two simple options it was making him doubt both, and he found himself going back and forth between staying and leaving.

The Voice contradicted itself, flopping between options to frustrate the Prussian. Ludwig watched worriedly as his brother's face began to show frustration, and he was about to speak when the albino sighed. Gilbert looked up with tired eyes, having accepted the one nagging reason why he truly didn't want to yet leave.

Matthew.

He straightened his back, having gained back some of his usual confidence with the decision made in his mind. "I'll stay. It's nothing too bad that I can't handle."

Ludwig blinked in surprise. "That is an out of character choice for you. Please be honest with me. Really, is there _any_ reason why you would want to stay? I can't see you enjoying the company of a quiet person like Canada."

At this Gilbert frowned, crossing his arms in from of him. "Like you have the right to say, it's not like you know him."

Ludwig raised an eyebrow, even more shocked that his brother was taking the time to defend the Canadian. He couldn't help but wonder why. "I merely go off by what I've seen of him. It's not much though; the boy's too quiet compared to others for him to be worth paying attention too. It's not my fault that he comes off as dull to be around."

Prussia grumbled a few swears in his hushed words. "It's a lot better than some of the tight asses, like you, over there in Europe brother. Being quiet doesn't make someone dull. Hell, it might even mean he just doesn't want to fucking bother with people. God knows this is some of the most fun I've had in forever."

Ludwig's face slide back to its neutral expression. "I take it you're enjoying yourself then?"

"Oh hell yeah! I've been learning how to play hockey and we've spent a lot of time drinking and stuff. Fuck, the kid has an odd sense of humour. I swear he's so lewd if Austria heard him his brain would die from some of the things he says."

Ludwig smiled a little. "Hmph, I'll say that honestly surprises me. He's been kind to you then?"

Gilbert nodded. "Yeah, unlike some people," he shot his brother a quick glance here, "he treats me with some respect. Not to mention that he makes a damn good breakfast. Especially pancakes. He actually makes good food in general."

Ludwig studied his brother. There was something different about him; he hadn't seen his brother like this in forever. There was a certain spark to him that he'd been missing for decades. "You really seem to like him."

Gilbert smiled a true smile. It wasn't his usual cocky grin. "Yeah, I do."

Then there was a moment of silence, for both of them one of understanding. It went unsaid, yet Ludwig could recognize the feelings Gilbert had for Canada. Ludwig smiled faintly before turning it into a hard line. "This could be dangerous brother."

Gilbert's mouth opened wide, prepared to lash out at the younger. He froze though, his face reminiscing that of a fish. Slowly it grew calm, then reluctance took over. "Ya, I know."

The feelings the Prussian harboured for the Canadian could lead to trouble, would likely lead to trouble. What would a strong country like Canada want to do with someone who was a mere relic of the past? Gilbert was rude, crass, and even though he wouldn't say it out loud, broken. The albino had lost his place in the world, and he wasn't going to find it soon. Even with the brotherly acceptance given by Ludwig, and the friendship he was offered by others, Gilbert still felt like a pariah.

Realistically, Matthew was a man with options, so why would he choose him?

The Voice seemed to share his sentiments. And its harsh whispers only fueled his fear of rejection.  
_  
Why would a man with power choose a worthless piece of trash like you?_ He could imagine it's form, It's head right by his ear. He could imagine ghostly teeth grazing his ear as negativity flowed from its mouth. _He has far better options than a worthless runt like you.  
_  
Gilbert gave a weak smile. "It's not like I'm going to act on it brother. I know where I stand. I just want to stay a little longer in a place where I can enjoy myself for once."

Germany sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I still think-"

"No!" Gilbert leered, his voice a growl. "I am done speaking about this!"

Ludwig complied, knowing that his brother would say no more of the matter. Their conversation changed, both of them working to keep it on lighter topics. After a while as it continued to become more and more strained, they gave up. Their goodbyes were quick and simple, but now that their tempers had calmed there was affection there. Gilbert sighed one last time as he shut his laptop. He ran a hand though his hair and set the machine beside himself on the bed.

Gilbird, who had remained quiet through the whole affair, was perched in his cage. The door was hanging open, and the little bird left its perch in favour of its master's head. Gilbert reached up, gently petting his friend. "That was interesting _ja_?" He still used German, the bird seemed more relaxed with that language than any other. It gave a small cheap, as if to agree.

The albino said no more, and the two sat in a comfortable silence for a while. Gilbert tried to keep his head clear, but he could still feel that _thing_at the edge of his mind. It said nothing, but its presence was enough to bother Gilbert.

He accepted the fact that is was getting worse. Almost as bad as after his demise, when the world was nothing but a bleak hellhole to him.

He hoped it didn't get that bad.

He couldn't battle it again.

* * *

The rest of the day was uneventful. After the call with Ludwig most of the morning had gone. They sat and lazed around until lunch.

The weather wasn't too bad outside. You were fine with a toque, jacket, and even just those flimsy little mitts that did jack shit. They headed outside, and Canada couldn't help but mock Prussia by saying he would slowly be converted to Canadian and that the "Canada" embroidered toque was the first step.  
The Prussian returned in kind, saying that it would take something more awesome than a measly toque to turn him.

After the exchanged banter, Matthew began to set what he thought they could do for the day. Gilbert watched him and soon realized the gist of what they were doing and couldn't help but smile.

After all, what two guys wouldn't want to dick around with BB guns for the day?

* * *

Gilbert began to undress and threw his shirt on the floor. His mind was a little hazy, for after a good supper the two Nations had set out to drinking again. Even though they stayed at Canada's house, they still managed to do a number on themselves, and Gilbert giggled as he almost tripped on his own clothes.

Matt would really need to restock on the booze soon.

He looked around the room, a dopey grin in his face as he took off his pants. Gilbird was already asleep in his cage, and Gilbert decided it'd be best to not wake him up.

The albino quietly slid under the sheets of his bed, wiggling around as he tried to get comfortable. He ended up lying on his stomach as he always did, and soon his even breathing filled the room.

At first a drunken haze filled his dreams. He smiled in his sleep, laughing quietly here and there, sometimes mumbling a few words. Later on in the night though, his face began to grimace into a frown. His eyebrows furrowed together and his hands would clutch at the sheets.

His dreams became dark. Colour had bled from the fantasy world, leaving it a mish-mash of varying greys that seemed to suck away the light. Ghostly specters floated around him as he curled up into a ball on the floor, his arms his only safe haven. Dark shadows whispered at him as the specters grinned in a horrible feral fashion.

They seemed to eat away at his both physical being and soul, and Gilbert could do nothing to fend them off.

He woke from his dreams screaming that night.

* * *

_I'm the jet black sky_

_That's just before the rain  
Like the mighty current__  
Pulling you under the waves_

_Oh my love_  
_Oh my love_  
_Oh my love_  
_You don't know what you do to me_

_Northern Wind by City and Colour_

**Author's note- Well, I think September's the last time I updated. Sorry this took so long; I hit a major slump then got hit by life. Nothing serious though, just everything's so time consuming. Hopefully I'm a little bit faster with the next one eh? ;D**

**Please review dearies! If anything, yell at me for taking so long!**


	11. Observant

_Chapter 11_

_Observant_

Gilbert flopped down on the couch. He had come up beside it, collapsing over the arm so his legs were now hanging in the air. He felt a small breeze on his head as Matthew plopped down beside him, just avoiding sitting on the albino.

Supper had been a simple affair, the two tired from a day of Canada showing off another one of his museums. It wasn't anything too extravagant, but Gilbert had enjoyed the excitement the Canadian had held throughout the day as they had meandered through the building's halls. It was a smaller museum unfortunately, and they had soon found themselves heading home. Now it was still rather early, and the two lapsed into a moment of silence as neither made a move to talk or turn on the TV.

Gilbert's mind began to wander, or maybe it was just addressing thoughts that he'd been pushing away all day. It had been almost a week since Gilbert's nightmares had returned. The first night, the Canadian had come rushing to his room, his footsteps clearly thumping through the old house as Gilbert had tried to regain his bearings. In that moment though, he couldn't help imagining a shining pair of army boots slowly clipping down a hall; his mind twisting the erratic thump of a man surprised out of his sleep.

When Matthew had burst through the door, Gilbert had begun to remember where he was. He quickly collected himself, reassuring the blonde that he was fine and needed no help. The other had been hesitant to leave, but eventually Gilbert had gotten him to go back to bed.

Since that night, Gilbert had tried to retain utter control of his dreams. He had managed to make it so that he hadn't woken up screaming again. It was something at least. He didn't want to disturb Matthew every night with his problems. What could the other do to help anyways? There was no point in him knowing what was going on.

And the nightmares weren't his only problem. The Voice still remained, a taunting existence flirting around his mind. It nagged him, trying to slip in suggestions and notions to demoralize him. At the museum today, they had passed a display of old weapons and tools. The Voice had seemed to hang around him, whispering in his ear. _What would it be like to run that knife along your neck? Could you still survive a bullet to the head? If you willed it, could you stay permanently dead?_

At the moment Gilbert had felt a chill run down his spine. He wasn't suicidal; he was still fully interested in living. At least thought he was. But the Voice did speak to certain fears of his, and would awake dark thoughts of wonder about them. He was now a part of Germany, but was he really? There were moments where he felt different from the other Nations, like he was slowly falling out of being one of them. He now found himself wondering if he would just someday disappear. He tried to push that thought aside; it was useless to brood over it.

His mind returned to the museum, a slight chill running through him. The Voice had continued to talk about things, speaking insanely about magics. It spoke of devising plans that would actually kill him, using the powers of others to reach a currently unattainable grave. When they had passed another display- this one of First Nations artifacts- the Voice became more excited. It spoke to him, pointing out a blade that it said could end all of his worries.

From then on Gilbert had worked especially hard to push the Voice down and away from his mind. A fear had grasped him at that idea. And it was fueled by the fact that he thought he had seen a sickening glow to that knife, one that spoke of_ Power_.

But, that had to have been the Voice's doing. Though he had tried, he never could see something of Power. He had tried many times, but that was something he never found the ability to do.

Gilbert began to clamp down on his thoughts and took a deep breath. He began to run through different songs he played on his flute in his head, an excise he frequently used to calm himself.

While the albino collected himself, the blonde beside him jerked. Matthew had just caught himself falling asleep, and a feeling of free-falling had brought him back down to earth. He glanced over to the albino beside him, wondering about how well the other was sleeping through the nights.

Well, not really wondering, he had a pretty good idea. He wondered if it counted as an invasion of privacy to have a spirit watch his guest through the night. He blinked, already deciding that it didn't matter. He would admit to being more than a little worried about Gilbert. Whether it was known or not, Matthew was observant enough to guess that the other was slowly falling into some form of depression. He figured he had the right to worry about someone currently under his roof. And if Gilbert wasn't going to tell him what was going on, he'd just have to figure out what he can.

It was a weird situation for him though, for someone who usually distanced himself. He could feel it though, a protectiveness stirring within him. He wanted to help Gilbert, he could accept that. Why though, was another question. One he couldn't answer yet.

Regardless, he had made his decision.

He didn't know how he could help though. Both Nations continued the silence. Eventually, Matthew's mind turned away from Gilbert, and he groaned as he realized what tomorrow was. "Fuck, we got the conference tomorrow."

Gilbert jumped slightly. He looked up at the blonde, smirking. "Awwww, don't want to deal with that family of yours?" He had a sharp look in his eye, deciding to pick on an annoying subject for the other.

Matthew returned the look, first pouting before grinning slightly. "At least I'm not going to be the one who'll end up interrogated tomorrow by said family. They're going to eat you alive to make sure their "darling little Matthew" hasn't been hurt." Then he frowned, "They'll bother to at least do that." The blonde sounded unsure though.

It was Prussia's turn to groan. He hadn't thought of that prospect, and didn't relish in the idea of having to deal with Alfred and Arthur. Francis shouldn't be too bad, he hoped at least, since they were close. He turned over onto his stomach. "You better have a lot of beer for afterwards then."

"What? You think I'm not prepared?" The blonde stood up with a slight smirk, stretching out his back, being satisfied with the cracks traveling up his spine. "Fuck, we might as well start tonight."

Prussia shifted so he was sitting on the couch. "Ooo. The good boy wants to get smashed the day before he has to play host?"

Canada reached over and grabbed a throw pillow, aiming for the albino's face when he threw. "It's not like anything gets done on the first day anyways. And god, it's not like I can't hold my liquor."

Gilbert smirked as he got up, following suit and stretching like the Canadian. "Never said ya couldn't." He walked past Matthew, heading for the other's jacket that was hanging on the railing that led to the upper level. "I can drive this time, _ja_? I figure we're heading to that same place again, the one from last time."

The blonde mulled over it as he grabbed his coat and wallet. He sighed as he got to the door. "As long as you don't fuck up my truck. I'll skin you for that."

The Prussian grinned as he exited the house, and Canada wondered if his Ford would survive the night.

* * *

The bar was quiet tonight. It was weird for Gilbert, every other time he had been here it had been busy. It was only Eastern teams playing hockey tonight though. There was a baseball game, but it was two American teams, so Canada didn't bother watching.

Canada was quick to place an order, having already learned what Canadian beers Gilbert liked and didn't like. They both ended up drinking out of bottles. They eased into conversation, over time slowly getting more and more booze into themselves.

After some time as Gilbert finished another bottle, he peered over to the Canadian, intent on his question. "Is your family going to be that bad tomorrow with me?"

Matthew took a moment to sip from his beer. "Maybe, depends how much effort they'll be willing to spare tomorrow. You could say it comes and goes."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, and didn't say anything, but Matthew felt like he had to. "Don't get me wrong. They're still my family and I know they love me, but we're not close in the way others might expect. Sure, Arthur and Francis are definitely the closest between each other with their relationship and all, but I still think it'd surprise others if they really looked at it. Well, I guess you should know a little bit about them since you're so close to Francis."

He paused for a moment. "But between the four of us it's different. Don't get me wrong we're close, but we all really like space. Me most of all. I think over time they're gotten so used to that others might see it as a little neglectful. It's not of course, I'd fucking kick some ass before it got like that. But people get so caught up in staying attached nowadays. I mean, look at fucking technology's done, someone can get to you practically anywhere with it with cellphones and all."

Gilbert snorted into his beer. "It's hard to imagine your brother's not texting you about something 24/7."

The blonde frowned slightly. "Well, yeah, you could say he does that. But it's not the same thing. It's all just useless shit to pass time, we rarely text about anything meaningful. He usually makes a call if it's something like that, and those don't come often." He took another sip. "You know my brother; he just needs something to occupy him. It doesn't mean it actually matters to him. He's not intrusive. Not usually at least."

Gilbert shrugged. "I guess I could say the same about my _bruder_- he's always doing something. Not like Alfred where it can be anything though; it has to be something he enjoys. That's why he's so freakin' huge. He spends so much time working out just to past the time. He somehow manages to work off all that god damn food Feli feeds him. He dedicates a lot of time to his different hobbies."

The albino stared into his drink, his eyebrows furrowing. "If he does something, he has to do it perfectly."

Matthew hummed, "And is he intrusive?"

Gilbert snorted. It was harsher this time, and there was the feeling of annoyance to his voice."_Gott_, _mein bruder_ doesn't get off of my god damn back. You know, he's probably the guy who values his personal privacy the most, but you can't say that for the privacy of other people. He's always asking about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, and sometimes I just want to punch him when that disapproving tone comes up. My brother's a giant hypocrite that's for sure. A giant ass too."

"But you love him all the same."

That made Gilbert pause, and he calmed down a little. "Well _ja,_ he's family. Doesn't mean I absolutely adore him though. I mostly just think he needs a few swift kicks to the ass."

Matthew hummed, "Doesn't everybody once in a while." The blonde lifted his bottle, smirking into it but not taking a sip. "With your usual behavior, I bet you're overdue for one of those." He drank.

Prussia grumbled, and drank also. They slipped away from family, and continued to talk. A couple more people shuffled in over the night, but mostly people left the bar. They weren't the last patrons though, as they stumbled out, both on unsure feet. Canada laughed as he watched Prussia trip on a cement block in the parking lot. And the other made to angrily get up but fell back down again. The albino paused, "We need a taxi."

Canada nodded, and quickly checked his truck before he left it in the parking lot overnight. Only after making sure anything that might be deemed valuable wasn't visible, and making sure that the vehicle was actually locked, did Matthew call for a ride. Not a taxi though, not this far out in the country.

Soon a man Canada said was an acquaintance drove up, and they both hopped into a black truck. Gilbert thought from looking at the man that they had woken him up, but the human showed no signs of being annoyed. He wondered if he gave Canada rides often.

During the ride they passed into silence. Though he wouldn't admit it, Prussia was leaning slightly on the Canadian the whole time. They both thanked their ride as they almost tumbled out of the truck, Gilbert quietly mumbling his thank you after the Canadian's grateful one. The truck pulled away before they had even entered the house.

They shuffled in together; a mess of giggles and burps as they worked their shoes off. Matthew was the first up the stairs, laughing as the other tripped again. Prussia grumbled and thumped on his way up, but the Canadian was long gone before he could get him.

Gilbert didn't even bother changing out of his clothes; he just flopped down onto his bed. He swung his legs up, splaying them as he got comfortable. His eyes fluttered closed and he quickly drifted off into sleep.

* * *

_He heard a tapping noise, over and over again._

Tap tap tap.

_It was annoying, a sound you couldn't ignore. It made him restless, like there was something crawling under his skin that he couldn't get out. _

Tap tap tap.

_He turned around, swatting away at nothing. The world was black, but there were still things to see. At first, the sound came from a pencil. Someone bored and sitting at their desk, dreaming they were somewhere else._

Tap tap tap.

_Then, it was a phone hanging from its cord, banging against the wall. He could just imagine someone standing there, staring at the phone they dropped in shock because it was the bearer of bad news. _

Tap tap tap.

_Then it became a woman's shoes, walking towards some poor soul through that crisp white hall. She looks at him, false sympathy dripping from her face. It's a look she has perfected; this is her job. She's here to tell him "No, you're not all right. No, it's not going to be okay." And he just hangs his head because at the moment the world crashes down. _

Tap tap tap.

_And then the world explodes. _

_The tapping's louder, it has multiplied and now it's its own orchestra. Somber colours bleed into the world, and they rush around him. The albino grabs his head because it's too much, he can't stay calm and there's a low whining. With wide eyes he realizes that the whining's coming from himself and he can't hold it together any longer. He's crying and the world falling down and one tapping sound becomes isolated from the others. The other sets fades but that one gets louder and he feels like it's coming towards him. He curls up into a ball willing the sound away, but then suddenly it's right there in his ear and it's pain, pain all over and he screams, screams, screams because it's too much and it won't stop and it _won't stop-

Gilbert was screaming again. He had kicked his blankets to the floor and his shirt was twisted around his body. There were tears on his face and a sob wracked his body as his door flung open. He jumped as out of the corner of his eye he saw something come at him, but the other was faster and soon two arms were wrapped around him. He squirmed until realized that they were gentle, and that the other was even trying to rock him back and forth like a child.

He laughed at that, a short bark in between his cries. Matthew just pulled him in closer, and Gilbert found himself wrapping his arms around the other. The blonde was saying something, but Gilbert didn't know what. He couldn't pay attention. The nightmare was still wrapped around his mind and it wouldn't leave him alone. He still heard that _tap, tap, tap,_ even though he was awake and the sound wasn't real.

Matthew was humming now he thought. Or maybe he just wanted him to be humming. Gilbert had always found music calming. That's why he loved the flute, even if he wouldn't flaunt that talent.

They stayed like that for a while. Gilbert held on to Matthew with an iron grip, pulling at the other's shirt. After a while though, his gripped relaxed. Matthew looked down, noticing that the albino had fallen back asleep. They were lying on the bed now, and he slowly tried to wiggle his way out from the arms of the other. One move though, and Gilbert's hands returned, pulling him back in closer. The blonde stilled. He thought about moving again, but he was tired, and caved.

Matthew wrapped his arms back around Gilbert before drifting off to sleep.

Gilbert woke up alone in the morning.

* * *

_My nerves will be the death of me, I know._

_The Death of Me by City and Colour_

**Note- I think I need to stop making these large gaps between updates a habit. Honestly, I'd like to set a goal to have this story finished by the end of the summer, but with my streak I doubt that'd happen. I'll try though. Right now it looks like this story will have five more chapters and an epilogue, so it'd probably be more reasonable for be to hope to get half of those six chapters done. I think I'll try to expand on my rough outlines to get started on them all at least. **

**Thank you so much for reading, and I'd really appreciate it if you took the time to leave me a review. I love getting feedback from you guys. **


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